[hind pacha]

My husband is a very kind man, but he is a people pleaser.. I've always talked to him about setting limits with people, he would agree but still act the same way.. I married him because I was hurt from my past relationship and wanted someone to be with me without hurting me.. My family doesn't like him a lot because they think we are not compatible & he is not good enough for me, but I didn't listen to them & still I married him.. now I feel so disappointed at myself as I really think my family were right and I feel so cold with him especially because we fight a lot & have very very different styles, plans, and even speed at everything, I even hate the idea of having sex with him, he is good but he cannot give me the passion I need.. he is a nice man but I'm unable to picture myself with him in the future while he is always talking about it!! I met a new coworker on the same month we got married and I'm soooo compatible with him in everything that we even finish each others lines! Since I met him, the feeling of being disappointed in my marriage has duplicated.. please help me, should I be with my husband or end it?

[cecilotc]

Love is an act of your will. As long as you ask others for advice you will get all kind of answers. Seek your husband, not others to give you answers. As far as sex goes as soon as you are able to think about others needs more than your own you will only be feeding the flesh . Sex was intended to bring two into one.

[joypulv]

You have pretty much answered your own question by outweighing in one paragraph what's wrong over what's right.
I, for one, and not going to agree nor disagree.
But I see a woman who had one bad relationship, got married for little reason other than that, and now, a short time later, is sure she is in love with a third man.

[talaniman]

You have made some very bad choices because you were hurt, and now you are being dishonest with your husband. Worse you are distracted by another. Be honest with your husband, and instead of expecting him to change for you, change yourself to be better.

Handle your business at home before you start jumping around trying to feel good... AGAIN!! It didn't work before, it won't work this time, and you will be unhappy at WORK, and at HOME.

[hind pacha]

Thank you all for your comments, I like my coworker a lot but I'm not in love with him, I only see that we are very compatible and this made me think of the huge mistake I did.. to be honest with you, I have talked more than once to my husband about how I feel.. I told him I feel there is a huge gab between us and that I don't think we are compatible and I don't want him to change himself for me.. I told him I need passion in my life & he said this will happen with time! I even said to him once that I want out of this marriage cause I don't love him enough & he ignored that & acted like I said nothing.. I know I'm wrong but how should I act now? It's confusing for me to think clearly

[joypulv]

When you go online with total strangers to ask for advice about matters of the heart, you will get all kinds of responses and you take one, some, all or none. We aren't there and only have a few words from you to go on. You now seem to want to argue even more in favor of dumping your marriage - that is YOUR choice.

I think you are talking about one kind of passion and your husband another. You want the one that is exciting for a while and then fades and you need to know what you are left with. He's talking about the richness of shared experiences over time, through joy and tragedy, when people really appreciate and value each other for more than sex and finishing each others lines.

But if you go home and dread every minute with your husband, who isn't the nice people pleaser, good to you, nothing really wrong with him you just aren't compatible type of man, who really leaves you feeling like you made a huge mistake - then do what you feel you have to do. There just isn't enough substance to your question to argue about it much. No beatings, no drugs, no affairs, no stealing your family's money, no disputes over having children, nothing. Just something that you can't really explain.

[Helpful_guy]

Is it that he is tamed not wild? He sounds like a static guy? You are looking for active/fun/damn care type life style? From what you wrote, he will not change overnight. Don\t repeat your mistakes. You were fastt o marry him now you are thinking about finishing it. DO what ever u deem right but take your time and think it through with a cool mind... cheeers