[dark angell]

My mom used to beat me up badly I always got injurys she always says it's my fault that nobody marry her I don't know my father hated myself I hated humans there was this girl when I was 10 she was my best friend I was in a all girls school I really loved her ( as a best friend ) I dream ones that I died for her it was my best dream I had then when I was 13 I used to be a cry baby my class girls started avoiding me my other fiends started ignoring me I didn' know why I didn't care as long sara my best friend was with me there was some girls that had there money stolen and the girls didn't know who was it until some day I was really late for school when I opened the class room I found her sara saying it was me I was shocked then I knew why were my friend ignoring me and the class room girls hated me I am now 14 I stopped talking to anyone from that day on I never cry I never trusted anyone I don't need anyone I started to think of humans as nothing had suicidal thoughts my mom still hate me I think I am not needed in this world I wish I didn't born
Thoe I know killing myself won't solve anything what should I do to get rid of sucidal thoughts ?

[nicolep101]

Therapy might be the best option for you. It sounds like you have a lot of pent up anger and emotional problems that ranting to a therapist about might help!

[joypulv]

If you were my 14 year old daughter... I would love you.
I wish your mother would stop blaming you for her unhappiness. My mother did that too, though she mostly yelled all the time and her hitting didn't injure us. I know I felt that I shouldn't exist.
In a few short years you will be out in the world. I don't know how prepared you are for life, for work, for getting by on your own, what you might want to be. Will you tell us, using Answer below? Are you in the US? You really need a best friend. I wish you could go to Sara, say 'I didn't take that money' and walk away, at least knowing you stood up for yourself. I hope you can find another best friend. And know that there are people out here who care.

[bg12795]

I feel so bad for you right now. I know where your coming from though. A lot of the time, when I was younger, I was blamed for stealing things because my mother had been arrested for shoplifting. Honestly, when it comes down to it, you need to know that it is not your fault for people's immaturity level. If they really thought it was you, then they should have legitimate evidence to be able to accuse you of the crime. As for your mother, you can't really change the way she views the situation, but just know that it wasn't you that got pregnant; it was HER and it was HER decision to keep you. If she can't live with the responsibilities and limit of freedom, then maybe she isn't fit to be a mother. I suggest that maybe you try and find someone you can trust to talk to, or maybe even trying to reach out to your mother. Maybe if you tell her that you have been having some suicidal thoughts, then she'll take the situation more seriously and stop blaming you for things that you have absolutely NO control over. But, you just need to take things day by day. Try finding a way to "escape" like reading a book, or listening to musi you can really connect to. Either way, just know that none of this ever was and never will be your fault, and just try to make the best out of life, because before you know it, you'll be making a life of your own.