[sexy86]

I know I'm not in a good spot, but I'd rather have him break it off with me and get my heart broken cause I can handle it better than me breaking it off with him because I don't think I can handle it very well knowing that I just broke someone's heart. So how do I make him break it off with me so that I don't have to do it. And I'm not going to go and cheat on him, but what can I do to make him want to break it off with me?

[Wondergirl]

so how do I go with this route now?

It sounds like a cop-out, like you are hoping against hope that he will welcome you back with open arms. It sounds desperate.

[Wondergirl]

You can't.

Be smart and not a doormat. Break it off with him.

(And please stop opening up new threads. It's a total pain to have to go back to old threads to figure out what you are talking about. Just keep adding your thoughts to one thread.)

[sexy86]

No that's not it. I just hate breaking people's heart. I've always been like this too. I never broke anyone's heart. It is always them breaking mine and I was able to handle myself better. Now me breaking someone's heart this time I don't know if I'd be able to live. If he does break it of with me then yeah that would be less stress on me because one, I'm not the one who did wrong, he did and two just knowing that I broke his heart will only crush mine to pieces. I know it may not make sense, but I'd rather be heart broken than break someone's heart.

[sexy86]

Sorry, and just stay with the other one... forget about this thread then and thanks for the heads up about how annoying to go back and forth on a thread... then yeah I do have a lot of thinking and planning to do then, cause when I do end it with him. I want to at least leave in good terms and not have him mad or upset. Guaranteed he'll be heart broken, but I got to look out what's best for me.

[sexy86]

I'm talking about the other thread, not this one, sorry I apologize for the misunderstanding.

[Wondergirl]

Then you know what to do -- tell him to break up with you so you can get on with your life. (I doubt very much you can "break his heart.")

[Wondergirl]

I want to at least leave in good terms and not have him mad or upset.

Why??

[Just Looking]

Part of growing up and being an adult is learning to do what is right for you. It is also accepting when it is time to move on, and realizing that if the relationship is not right you are actually doing him a favor to break up when you realize it rather than letting it continue. No one enjoys breaking up with someone or causing heartbreak, but that is what happens until you find the right relationship with the right person at the right time. I know when I look back at past relationships I don't regret that I had them as I learned something and had fun during the good times. The only thing I would do differently now is to act sooner when I realized that it wasn't my "forever" relationship. I know it's easier to stay in the short-run, but it's better to get on with your life in the long run.

You mentioned you don't have a place to go. Can you stay for a while with friends or family? Can you find a roommate? Start looking for a job as you have mentioned, and I would recommend that you strive for a future where you can independently take care of yourself.

[sexy86]

Because I'd still want to be his friend.

[sexy86]

Yeah I know. It is going to be tough, but I'll have to do it...

[Wondergirl]

because I'd still want to be his friend.

No, no, no!! It doesn't work that way.

Read some of the other, similar threads on the Relationships board. Trying to be friends after a breakup is such a bad idea, and has been shown time and time again on this site that it's a bad idea. Maybe later you two can be friends, but not for months and maybe even years after a breakup, no matter which of you breaks up with the other.

[liongal]

When you start respecting yourself, he will do also, however while you continue to put up with his *ish he will not see that anything is wrong with his treatment of you.

Stop making excuses for him and stop being a doormat.

[sexy86]

Man this is harder than I thought.. I hate relationships they are so complicated..

[sexy86]

Yeah I have been looking for a job for a very long time... and me staying with my parents is not an option... and I want to make it on my own... I do have a couple friends that I can stay with, but only for a short term and I have a job interview coming up this Friday, but it's not in the field for what I went to school for. I am applying for jobs that is in my field and continuously looking every day and applying.. yesterday I walked from store to store to grab applications in a 96 degree weather... so yeah I'm doing all of this for me and figure out what is my best interest and not anyone else's... it is hard, but I'm getting there...

[sexy86]

Okay got it... plain and simple break it off with him before we get more deeper into the whole.. got it... thanks for the advice..