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secretkeeper · Jul 17, 2011, 07:33 AM

Hi, I have been in this relationship,well sort of friends with benefit type of relationship. The guy happens to be my best guy friend for 9 years now. He told me back in December of this year that he loved me and he did everything for me, truly showed me love. We ended up having sex (6 different times to be exact) because I believed him.

A month later, he told me we couldn't do things anymore because he had to get back into church... I took it very hard. I understood but what got me was that he dated another girl a month exactly later.. she looked just like me! It hurt a lot.. I tried winning him back by getting him things for valentines day and took him out to eat with my family but he treated me like crap..

After that, we never spoke for 3 months. Well we happen to go to the same church so sometimes he would try to start a conversation up with me. It didn't last long, but it sure made my days.. We started actually being friends again in June, but we took our friendship that we just gained to a whole new level. We were having sex.. but we only did it twice and some days I just pleasured him. Whenever he called I would gladly say yes to it, but when I called just to hang out he wouldn't want to. I became his doormat.

Now he isn't talking to me... probably because I haven't text or called him, I'm trying to wait for him... but he went to church camp last week and now I'm scared he is changed.. he always does that (Well, I just want to know what I should do, and how I should handle all this. Its really killing me..

Edited/T

redhed35 · Jul 17, 2011, 08:01 AM

Stop being his shag buddy, stop waiting on him to use and abuse you again again.

His does not love nor respect you, you are easy sex.

This is killing you, the situation is toxic to you, start no contact, start getting on with your own life, meet new people get active in your life.

You don't need this crap, so why are you waiting around for it to keep happening? There are great guys there who will treat you right.

Great sex does not mean love, and just because he calls you for sex does not mean he cares about you.

Set the bar higher for yourself.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 17, 2011, 08:10 AM

Sorry this was not "friends with benefits" it was a user telling you what you wanted to hear to have sex with you.

He said he had feelings and you now have feelings, friends with benefits is just that, fun sex you would not care if he was dating or having sex with someone else.

This is a very poor one, but it is a dating relationship and you are being used

amicon · Jul 17, 2011, 08:49 AM

Stop being a doormat and move on.

He's using you for sex and that's all there is to it.

No contact!

talaniman · Jul 17, 2011, 09:29 AM

What do you expect trying to build something on sex? Cut this guy out of your life completely and have healthy friendships with out sex. He ain't a friend. And you get no benefits.

mj808 · Jul 17, 2011, 11:14 AM

If he really cared he wouldn't use you for sex, you would have a relationship. You have to let this guy go and maybe "NC" wouldn't be a bad idea for you. Friends with benefits is a horrible idea, somebody always gets hurt. Wait for a more considerate person to come along. You are young, there will be someone else who can give you the respect you deserve.