[Rize]

So my mom is a bit old fashioned she's not really big on Dating but I've been dating this guy for almost a year and our anniversary is coming up really soon. My mom knows about it even though she doesn't want to full on admit it out in the open that were going on but she definitely knows. She advises me as a mother and really likes the guys so she is comfertable with us. She's not fully comfortable with the idea and the thought that we kiss or whatever is out of the question. She's a great mom, very understanding but this is all new and wrong to her in he mind but she's been sweet so far. She tells me whatever it is, please tell me. She tells me not to like hide cash or whatever to get stuff and lie to her because she hates any form of lying and much rather have the truth. But the thing is the truth isn't always pleasant but I still want to do what to want to do so in order to do that I have to resort to lying.

Anyway I saved up some cash and it's my parents cash since I'm a teenager and I bought a present for my BF. I haven't told her and didn't plan to except I hate lying and I'm very bad and crack easily.

So my boyfriend us planning an elaborate surprise and presents for our one year and I'd end up showing my mom. Our anniversary is a week away, less than actually and my worry is my mom finds out everything somehow so I can't really hide what he gives me only for so long and I do want to respect her enough to tell her because she's been so lenient and sweet and understanding but I'm worried I'd get in trouble if I told her I got something too and saved up cash to get it. Because naturally shed ask what I got him if be got me something and my mom is a very smart women and ver intuitive and knows everything and can guess easily and knows when I lie. So what should I do? That's two strikes for me if she finds out I saved cash and finds out I bought something without telling her and that I spend that money and since it's for our 1 year anniversary so I don't know how shed take the reason being such an occasion.

I got this cute bear from build a bear and got all this stuff along with it. Should I approach her and say look he's getting me something so I'd like to get him something too and tell her ahead of time? Of course I'm getting him something else that I don't want to tell her cause it's private but I wantto tell her about the bear at least. So if she says sure which I think she might should I go and get it then and return what I go and get it with her? But it's so awk to ask her you know? I hope she doesn't freak since it's for our anniversary or anything.

This may seem like a strange and small problem to most but I really am at a dilemma so if I could get some good advise or solutions please let me know. Also if you don't quite understand the problem fully please let me know I will be happy to explain. Thanks all!

Also, I'm just overall scared to tell her that its out anniversary let alone that I want to get him something. She really does intimidate me even though she maybe a nice mom.

[talaniman]

Scared or not, I can't see anything but being straight, and honest with your mom.

[Jake2008]

I think that it is wonderful that you show so much respect for your mother.

I do agree though, that she needs to be told about the gifts. Why would you have to lie in the first place. It is perfectly normal for couples (no matter what the age) to exchange gifts on special dates- birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, etc.

I would wait and tell her after the fact though. Explain that he surprised you with a gift, and you surprised him with a little gift- no big deal.

In fact it might go a long way in showing your mother that you are upfront and honest, that you make small, harmless decisions on your own to honour a special day, and that you see nothing wrong with it. She may realize, if you are just straight about it- that it's harmless, and nothing to worry about. If you crack under pressure you don't know whether is going to happen in the first place, that shows her that you are not mature enough to handle your decisions.

So, enjoy your special day with your boyfriend, realize you are doing nothing wrong, be honest with your mother and tell her about the gifts, after they are exchanged.

Best of luck.

[Rize]

Thank you for your advise, much appreciated and your right about the maturity thing. There really is nothing to over react or feel guilty about; therefore thanks!

[Rize]

Very true thanks!