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babydaddy16 · Jul 6, 2011, 11:21 PM

So I'm 16 and my ex is having a baby that I'm only 90% sure is mine ( I am getting a DNA test). We used to be "in love" or at least I was and when I found out that she was pregnant I wanted nothing more than to be a part of her and the babies life. I tried giving her all my love and support that I could give but she constently lied to me and now she is dating another guy who is 15 (she is also 15) but everyday it's a different attitude with her, one day she wants to be with me and the next she doesn't because "I add to much stress to her" don't get me wrong the last thing I want to do is make her life stressful while she is pregnant but all I ask for her in return for my love and support is her love and truth but all I do is get lies and she throws everything I give her back in my face. Its been about 6 months since we broke up but even after all this pain and suffering she put me through I still haven't given up trying to get her back. Im meen you usually hear about a girl getting pregnant and the guy takes off espically for my age but she left me. I thought she would see that I'm trying to own up to our responsibility and be a man but instead she is blinded but the fantasy that raising a baby is easy. The kid isn't even here yet and even I know that it takes a village to raise a child. My question is How do I get her to wake up, smell the roses, and mature and when and if she does. How do I get her back?

P.S: sorry for all the grammatical errors

amicon · Jul 6, 2011, 11:27 PM

What a mess!

You're both too young to be starting a family but the main thing now is for you to get the dna sorted and take it from there.

If you are the dad you have rights- do you have the support of your family in this-and you should see a solicitor to get the legalities sorted.

The unborn child is the priority here,not getting back with this immature girl who,hormonal as she is,and pregnant as she is,is little more than a child.

Enigma1999 · Jul 6, 2011, 11:52 PM

Amicon pretty much hit it on the head. I just would like to add that even if you and she don't work out, at least be there for the baby.

If she is not willing, then you step up.

This is an unfortunate situation, because you two are so young.

I hope you and she have a good support system.

In any case, good luck.

talaniman · Jul 7, 2011, 11:58 AM

You sound like a very responsible guy, so I can tell you that if indeed you are the father, change your focus from being a boyfriend, or a family, to being a great DAD to your child.

Unfortunately, this may not make her ready for HER responsibilities, or even want anything to do with you ever again, but trust me, you will be bonded by this child for years to come, whether you are together or not.

Put your child before those romantic notions and you will always have the child's interest before your own desires. You don't have to be together to be great parents, but on some level you will have to work together. Hope it works out, and hope you make it work for your innocent child. Don't make this a drama, just do the right thing of which I am confident you will, whether she can, or NOT!

Much Luck.