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    lovelife2345's Avatar
    lovelife2345 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 2, 2011, 04:51 PM
    I ended it with my first real boyfriend? What now?
    Okay, so I met him a year ago and we dated for just a year. Everything was good in the beginning but, like after 6 months went by I felt like things changed. He lied to me and defended other girls over me. I felt like he used me also.

    I had a car and job while he didn't at first. I picked in the morning to go to school and after school I took home or picked him up from practice and took him home. I had a job and started paying for a lot of things.

    He came from a very wealthy home but started to get stingy and I was out of pocket with money. I never understood why he stopped paying for stuff like he did when we first started dating. Why did things change? Then he finally got his driver's license and got a car and that's when things really changed. He would never want to pick me up and take me places ever. He said he needed to save on gas. He would lie to me and take other girls places. Girls which we had problems with before.

    Then this one time he broke up with me just to get me mad and I didn't understand why? That went on for like 3 days. Then we got back together. Then I starting thinking to myself that I don't deserve this and like a month later I broke up with him. He kept asking why but I couldn't give him an answer. I just knew I wanted better and that I wasn't happy.

    Everything between us turned into a competition when it should be equal if we're in a relationship. I'm young I'm only 17 so I know that I will find another boyfriend that will do me better but right now the day after I broke up with him, I feel a little bad but I don't regret it. I just want to know if I'll get over him?

    I also want to point out that he was first true love ever. I adored him so much, like I thought we'd get married and have a family. It was all planned out. Did things change because we're young and we don't know the gist of a real relationship? He used to always come around no matter what but, that changed also. He stopped doing a lot of things he used to.. .
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 2, 2011, 05:37 PM

    You did what we all did with our first real love, we dreamed and enjoyed that dream, then we grew up and realized this ain't working any more, and we regret, hurt, heal, and move on to the next one, because everything changes and we change also. Yes you both are very young and have many experiences ahead, some great, some not so great. That's just life, and when it changes, we try our best to change with it so we can keep experiencing while we make ourselves happy, and hope we don't repeat the past mistakes, and goofs.

    In short, you have just experience your first growing pain about love, and its on to the next. You will love again.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 2, 2011, 05:44 PM

    Yes, it does get better. It takes time for the hurt to fade away and there will be part of you that will aways care about him. However, the strong feelings diminish and you will meet other people.

    For right now, do what you can to stay busy both mentally and physically. It helps keep the temptations to contact him to a minimum plus it makes it harder for him to contact you.

    Catch up with your friends and family who you might have drifted away from while you were dating him.

    Hobbies, classes, clubs, physical exercise, etc. are good ways to stay busy and can be used as ways to meet new people. New people usually don't know about your ex so they won't be asking about him and what happened.

    Something to think about is that he is your 'first' love. For something to be 'first' something has to come after it.

    Let yourself heal and when you are ready, someone will come along who will be a better a match for you. Heal and let the emotional dust settle from the past relationship so it doesn't cloud your perception in the next relationship.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Jul 2, 2011, 09:12 PM

    You made the right choice-you weren't happy and,yes,you can do better!

    You'll get over him,with time and by keeping busy.

    You'll probably always remember him-as we mostly do remember our first loves,but it'll just be a memory.

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