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Rosna · Jun 30, 2011, 09:22 AM

I am 27 and my husband is 40 years old. We been married for more than 6 years. For first few years I didn't want to have kids but now we both want to have one but unfortunately we just find out that my husband can't have kids, I feel heartbreaking but I do understand that it's not his fault this is the way his body made.

My husband is very complicated person doesn't matter what I do for him still I am not good enough for him. I don't know when I stopped loving him and I really don't want him to teach me at all. Sometime when pushes me for sex I just want to kill myself, I have no idea what to do please help me because divorce is not the option for me. I want to be with him for the rest of my life but I don't know how? I came to Canada few years ago so my English is not too good I hope you guys can help me with my problem because I don't have any family or friends in here to talk to them.

Thanks

JudyKayTee · Jun 30, 2011, 09:32 AM

It is against the rules to post your email address. It is also foolish to post a personal question and email address on a public board. Questions are asked and answers are given here.

You don't love him, the thought of having sex with him makes you think of suicide but you want to stay with him?

You CAN'T make yourself love someone. You can "like" him and possibly live with him forever but if the thought of sex with him makes you suicidal, you must decide what you can and cannot tolerate.

Maybe divorce is not an option (and I don't know why), but you can separate and live apart and never divorce.

I think we need more details to give any additional information. You simply cannot continue to live with a man whose touch makes you suicidal.

talaniman · Jun 30, 2011, 03:51 PM

To most, not being able to have children is a life changing event and of course though you place no blame, you still are both hurt by this news. You are both mourning and grieving in your own way.

I think the key is to share your hurt, grief, and disappointment with each other and find a way to move beyond it, and carve out a better strategy than keeping things to yourselves, and suffering as individuals.

Communications are crucial, even if you have to have a trained 3 rd party to help you get through this difficult time. There may be options to having a family if you can get back in touch with each other, and explore those options together. But first, you must reconnect, or drift apart.