[granz0210]

I have a 2y 4m old son who when I try to take him to the gym and leave him in the daycare he makes himself vomit from being so upset. It is not the care providers because he has done this before in other daycare situations but eventually got over it even though he still cried. He does not have a problem when left with family or familiar care takers. I have even tried bringing him with my daughter, his 8year old sister and he still vomits and it is embarrassing. Is there an easy way to stop this, he also vomits if we try to put him to sleep in his own bed which means he falls asleep with my wife and I and then I carry him to his bed where he stays for a while but ends up back with us at some point during the night. Please help with any suggestions.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, ignore it and leave. After several times of knowing he can not control you with his actions, he will stop.

He has learned that most likely by doing this, he gets his way.

Start by talking to the people you are going to leave him with, explain this will happen so they can expect it.

As for as bed, so he vomits, put him back in his bed, time and time again, don't let him have his way

[kcomissiong]

Chuck is absolutely right. He will keep doing it as long as it works. If you stop giving him the attention that comes with the behavior, it will stop.

[angie4443]

I agree with the first two post! It is all about control and attention. He will not stop the vomiting until you stop giving him the attention in which he is seeking. You need to be very persistent. With the bed time also, if he gets back into bed with you you need to put him back into his bed WITHOUT even talking to him ~ he already knows what is expectant of him. Don't give any attention good or bad. I still wake up in the morning and occasionally find my 5 year old sleeping outside my bedroom door. But she will not come and get in bed with us. Eventually I know this will stop. My 18 year old did the samething for years but it didn't continue for too long. Good luck ~ it is one of the hardest thing to do ~ being a parent! And being consistent!

[Wondergirl]

He has a separation problem. Have you tried giving him what is called a "transitional object" when you put him somewhere and go out of his sight? Linus in the Peanuts comic strip uses a blanket as his transitional object, something to comfort him when Mommy is away. I used to babysit a toddler who would cry hysterically whenever his mommy would go out to dinner with the daddy. Mommy would leave her watch with the little boy and ask him to keep it safe for her until she got home.

Is there something of yours (a bracelet or handkerchief, for instance) or a small blanket or stuffed animal that your child would adopt as his transitional object? This will help him learn that you won't be gone forever, that you will come back to him. Tell him a story around the object, that it will be his to take care of while you are gone. You can even try giving him a small photo of you holding him, and make that the transitional object -- whatever works.

You can do dry runs with him, leaving the object with him in another room or at bedtime and then return after a short time to give him a hug or kiss. Do this for a few nights with increasingly longer times between returns to him or his crib, so he realizes, even though you are gone, you will be back. Yes, it will be a pain, but will be worth it in the long run.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfort_object

[liz28]

My two year son used to be same way but instead of vomiting he would fall out and hit his head. Then he used to sneak back into the bed with me and my husband. I must say I was the blame for that because I used to have him sleeping with me and my husband most of the time. It took him a month to start sleeping in his own bed throughout the night. My husband and I used to put him back his bed over and over and lost a lot of sleep behind him crying waiting for us to give in until one day he stopped, a little over a month later. You don't know how proud and happy I was when he did. Just keep putting him back in his bed and don't give in no matter what like everyone else said.

Also, Wondergirl is right about the separation problem. I would try what she suggested. I tried doing those things but my son would just throw it and fall out and cry and start hitting his head but still try it. I know it may not seems like it now but he will outgrow this phrase. My son is now 2years and 9 months old and just stopped doing these things 2 months ago. Good luck and hope you come back to keep us posted.