[Synthgod]

So let me start from the beginning. Me and this girl met in 8th grade, I knew she was going to be an important part of my life since the first day I met her, we were always good friends and was always there for each other when one of us would get dumped or was just having a hard time it wasn't until she was a senior and I was a junior that we finally got into a real relationship, we lost our virginity's to each other after the first month, we were both so much in love and everything was great up until about the 6 month

There was a lot of jealousy over dumb things like adding girls/boys on Facebook or hanging out with the opposite sex but we always seem to work through everything, during her last couple weeks of school we broke up for about 3 weeks the whole time I was just dead inside, couldn't eat or sleep had her on my mind 24/7 begging her back but she ended up taking me back and everything was fine for about 3 months and then THIS happens.

Its been about 2 weeks since she broke up with me and Im going through the same thing as the first time, I feel like A lot of it is my fault because I was such a ****ty boyfriend to her at the beginning of our relationship, lying to her about not smoking weed which she hated but I would always tell her I didn't do it and actually did and she would find out and cry she was so amazing to me but anyway she seems really serious about breaking up for good this time by saying things like "Im done" and "I Promise we are never getting back together".

Its only been two weeks and Ive already seen her flirting with another guy on Facebook they even went to the movies together and it hurts me so much to see her with another guy, I really want to get her back because of the history we have even before we got together Im putting so much blame on myself for being a horrible boyfriend to her at first I just want to make up for it but when I text her she just says really hurtful stuff, Im so sad all I do is sit at home all day with nothing to do, we are both out of school now by the way but I didn't just loose the love of my life I lost my best friend too, help please?

[talaniman]

You must accept that she no longer wants to be the important part of your life, that you have come to depend on and rely on.

That means leave her alone, and stop looking at her Facebook, and start getting use to life without her in it. Likely this will take time and hard work for you, and I won't lie, its going to be hell. Any change you have to make, and don't want to usually is, and miserable to boot.

But its important that you stick it out, and start depending on yourself to make yourself happy, and stop being stuck on someone who is no longer stuck on you.

Time for a new life, with new friends.

[Synthgod]

But how is it possible for her to just not care about me anymore? After all the memories we have made is it really a lost cause to think I'll ever get her back? ):

[talaniman]

Unlike you, her feelings have changed, and she is getting busy building a new life for herself. Its not like she will ever forget you, or the times you had, but has made the effort, and is doing the work to make new memories, and experiences that will push old ones aside. That's what you need to do, build new experiences and memories to push old ones aside so you can GROW beyond this part of your life.

but when I text her she just says really hurtful stuff, I'm so sad all I do is sit at home all day with nothing to do,

Like throwing a rock at a dog that's trying to follow you, she doesn't mean to hurt you, just shoo you away. Sitting home alone and feeling sad and sorry for yourself is not the way to go, and is just as bad as looking at her Facebook, or old pictures and mementos.

Stop all of that and get your a$$ off the pity pot young guy, and get back to reality and start getting healthy without her. And yes at this time its foolish to believe she will be back. Why would she, she is enjoying her new freedom, even if you are not. But you can if you get off the pity pot, and get your own fun life.

You have much exploring to do, and learning and growing, so get to it.

[Synthgod]

Well we have talked a lot since I last posted this and She says she is just so hurt from what I've done in the past that she doesn't want to be in a relationship and she is just afraid to get back with me because she thinks I will keep hurting her and lying to her, How can I prove to her Ive changed? I don't want to live with this regret :/

[talaniman]

You don't prove anything to her. You leave her alone, heal, and learn from your mistakes through changing for yourself. Prove you can change to yourself, and do better next time. We all have done things we regret, and unfortunately, we have to live with it.

What's key here is leaving her alone and doing better for YOURSELF.

Everything you do may have consequences to them, that's why you have to learn to think, BEFORE you act, or speak.

[Synthgod]

Ive tried not talking to her for a couple days and she will always be the first to text me I mean I don't want to loose her forever but it hurts me way too much to just be her friend, she said if anything does happen it will have to be after she gets her own place and that won't be for a few months... I can't wait though it will only hurt me, advice?

[talaniman]

You are way to available, and way to afraid of losing her. That means you are stuck on someone who isn't as stuck on you. She has other priorities than you, and the only answer, and advice I have is to be doing your own thing that makes you happy without her.

I realize that will require one helluva attitude adjustment on your part, and will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, but will put you on a path of good decision making, and a much better outlook, as you over come your intense feelings, and your fears.

Find out what you are made of, and what makes you happy besides her.

[Synthgod]

We have been talking every night, but not about the Relationship just chatting and stuff I feel as if Im drifting into the friend position and I can't let that happen because that will just hurt me too much so Im going to start No Contact soon.

[talaniman]

Drift?? Naw you are there already but just won't accept it.

[Synthgod]

So pretty much I have fell into the red zone, she got Jealous of all these girls I had on my Facebook so I deleted them just because I didn't want to argue because I want her back but now she's been flirting with guys on Facebook and Im pretty sure she's just doing it to make me mad because If it was the other way around she would be going off, pretty much though Im about to blow up I can't handle much more of this

[talaniman]

Let me know when you are tired enough to make the changes it takes in your attitude, and actions to get beyond this, stop the GAMES you are playing with yourself, and heal, to you can thrive, and survive.