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    missy706's Avatar
    missy706 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 21, 2011, 05:15 PM
    Ex Boyfriend Behavior
    My ex broke up with me with no reason he just said that he didn't want to hurt me. Right there I didn't know what to think. Then I realize that he had already been cheating on me and already found someone else. I ask him and he said that he neva cheated on me and that he loves me and always will. That we should be friends. Being that we have a child together I agreed. After our split he moved out and we don't talk to each other for about a month. Now I ask if he was seeing someone he said he was talking to a girl nothing serious and that she was celibate and was just her roommate. Then we started talking and began to have sex with each other. Now almost 2 years lata I found out that he has recently gotten married. So all this time we were sleeping together while he was engage and after wards while married? I just don't understand why did he still want sex if he was engage an now married? How could he not tell me. He is the one who broke up with me, so there for I'm assuming he's way over me because he's married why would he cheat that early on in his marriage? I told him that I knew and I was pissed and why are we still sleeping around. What I don't get is that how could he get so mad when I mention that he was selfish a waist of my time. He said he was just to confuse when we first broke up? Meaning what? How could you spend 7 years with someone already talk about your future. Then just up and leave your fiancé because you are confuse. Marry the next chick and still sleep around with your old chick. Have he have no respect for his wife? I'm Really? Soo convince Men really do think with their D***?
    Is it really that hard to say I don't want or be in a committed relationship? Are men really that scared? How long did he think that we can continue to have sex? He still calls asking me to sleep with him or to hang out. He is married why can't he just leave me alone. I need some opinions
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Jun 22, 2011, 04:12 AM

    IMO, say no, flat out say no, that you are through with him so hit the road jack.

    The more you give him the more he will take.

    Tick
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 22, 2011, 05:29 AM
    Had to spread the rep Tickle, but you are right.

    The way I see this, this isn't about him, and it isn't about his wife. It's about you, and the decisions you make.

    Married men should be off limits. You have nothing to do with your ex boyfriends' life, other than the necessary arrangements you have to make because you decided to have a child with him. That connection is the only one that needs to last until that child is an adult.

    He owes you no explanations as to why he would be sleeping with you, or lying about being married. You have no relationship with him as boyfriend/girlfriend, and are not in a position of demanding answers to his behaviour. Why he sleeps around on his wife, is no business of yours in other words. It is enough that you know isn't it?

    You state that you asked him why he has no respect for his wife. You can't expect that from him, you can only expect that from yourself, now that you do in fact, know he is married.

    It is time to put this ex in your past, and keep him out of your bed. Have a little more respect for yourself and not be used as a booty call, and a little more insight to know that anything he tells you will be to satisfy your curiosity/anger etc. so that he can continue to sleep with you.

    Stick to what you do have to do as far as he's concerned, and provide the best possible future for your child; he should be in her life, and the two of you need to have boundaries and expectations and a plan in place- only for her. Has his wife even met your daughter? These are all things that need to be worked out.

    If she finds out he's been cheating with you, and boots his sorry derrierre out, I hope that you have the strength to maintain boundaries and not feel any obligation to him, other than your child.

    He's your past now, not your present, and not your future. He's made his choices, and it is time for you to sever all personal ties to him, and move on to a better future with healthier relationships, where you aren't in the position of being 'the other woman'.
    missy706's Avatar
    missy706 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jun 22, 2011, 11:28 AM
    Comment on Jake2008's post
    His wife had to already met our son already. His wife is a girl that he said he was friends with. I had no idea there were actually dating and Of course all married men are off limits. I would have never slept with him had I known he was with anyone. I have not slept with him since I found out and not plan on continuing. I have already made that clear to him he'll get over it. I told him we can remains friends no sex its just about our son! Out child needs to be the main issue
    missy706's Avatar
    missy706 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jun 22, 2011, 11:31 AM
    Comment on tickle's post
    That is true. He hasn't get anything from me since then. And never will!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jun 22, 2011, 02:07 PM

    You don't need my advice, and I will applaud your course of action.

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