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mahana · Apr 9, 2011, 08:37 PM

Hello, would like your opinion on the behavior of my ex. I broke up with him 4 months ago because he was not so much into me anymore, which he confirmed in saying that he was not sure about us as we were very different and I wanted more from the relationship than him. We remained in contact since then, mostly by email and chat, and friendly with each other but never talked about the break up again. Recently we have been meeting in group of friends together, and things were relatively OK, but his behavior is confusing me. He does not look at me in the eyes, is sometimes very cold with me, and never suggest that we go out together (the two of us). However, he is also very attentive towards me, frequently mentions your past together and my friends said that he is always looking at me when I don't look at him. I have the feeling that he is still attracted to me but would not act on it. When we talk together, we talk as very good friends. What do you think is going on here? And how could I get him back? Many thanks.

talaniman · Apr 10, 2011, 03:13 PM

You broke up with him, so the ball is in your court and its up to you to start that kind of conversation.

What you dump a guy and he is supposed to chase you to get YOU to change your mind?

No self respecting guy would, just puppy dogs that are well trained. If you want him back, ask him, and live with what he tells you.

mahana · Apr 10, 2011, 05:54 PM

Thanks for your reply. I feel I need to explain a little more... I dumped him - all right - but he did encourage me to do so. He was not contacting me often, did not offer commitment, and was relatively cold with me (he refused to have sex with me twice). So I felt he was not really into me, and I told him that it seems he does not want me, so why should I be with him? He did not deny it, and so we broke up.

We remained in contact. I am still the one who contacts him more often that he contacts me, but he always accept when I invite him to go out with me. I will try to talk to him next time I see him - we are supposed to see a movie this weekend together - but what shall I say to him now that you understand our story better? Thanks

talaniman · Apr 10, 2011, 06:32 PM

You sound like the boss and even though he got dumped, I am sure he takes what he can. Hey if dumping him won't change him, why are you trying? If you haven't solved the problem then what's the point in this game you are playing?

Sorry, it does sound like a game, like he is on punishment or something. I doubt he sees it that way, but why haven't you just talked about it without the drama?

A 4 month drama and punishment, and he must be really slow not to have done anything about being dumped 4 months ago.

mahana · Apr 11, 2011, 01:59 AM

Hahaha yes I am a strong woman but I did not punish him. You are probably right that I did not solve the problem, and he is not ready to commit just yet, but now I am ready to take it slow and try again since I love him. I will talk to him simply and without the drama and see what he says... Thanks!