[Nosnosna]

So now wait a minute LOL whassat s'posed to mean when they mistake me for a guy, hmm?? :rolleyes:

Er, um... Maybe they think you're a gay guy? Take solace in the fact that since our responses are similar in a lot of places that it must just be the gender of the name that does it.

Sorry - we are seriously highjacking this thread! I now return you to your regular thread broadcast LOL Let's seeeeee those letters PEEPS!

I prefer to think of it as bumping the thread. But you're right, let's get back to the letters!

[kaitou]

Dear Ex,

As expected you skipped again yesterday. I've accepted that things between us are over, but why am I still so sad. I want to just be happy and move on. I hate how we don't talk at all anymore, it's like you don't even want me to be your friend. I hate how you would talk to all these different girls but me. I wish you would just stop hurting me. But I know that the only person that's hurting me is myself, by not letting go. I know we have no chance to be back together, why can't I just move on. I wish I can fast forward time, so I can fast forward my healing.

[daisydew]

Dear Ex,

I can't believe you tricked me into believing you were the catch of a lifetime for almost 2 years. You are so self-centered. Sure, you took me out on dates and would stay up late talking all night with me... you also flirted with every girl you came in contact with. Oh, and let's not forget the 2 or 3 times you took me out to lunch with your EX GIRLFRIENDS. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I thought maybe everyone's boyfriend did that. I was so wrong. Then you got mad at me whenever I'd bring anything about it up. I hated how you kept all your exes gifts and memories out in the open. You need to move on from the past and get into the present.

I'm still in shock that 4 weeks ago you told me you loved me so much. You felt like no one would ever compare to me, but you just couldn't be with me. Just 2 or 3 weeks after you said that, you're off with some other girl that you knew the entire length of our relationship. What the hell is that? I mean really, if I meant soooo much to you why did it take you 2 weeks to get over me? I think that's what hurts the most, you said you cared so much... but actions speak louder than words.

I feel so betrayed by you. You were my best friend, and now you just throw me away like garbage. I feel like the past two years of my life are a giant lie.

And NO I will never be your friend. Just because you can trick all your other exes into being a part of your life doesn't mean you can trick me too. I don't need someone like you in my life. All you do is bring me down.

OH, and let me not forget your HUGE commitment problem. Have you noticed that you haven't been single since you were about 14 years old? You can't cope with a breakup. You have moved onto another girl within a month of your last girlfriend since you were FOURTEEN years old, and you're now 23. You should really get some help with that problem. And I guess on that note, I can't take it personally that you moved on so quickly to another girl. It hurts me because I'm a rational human being and can see that it's definitely not normal... but you are crazy. You've done it to every girlfriend, so it really has nothing to do with me.

When I told you I didn't want to be friends with you or talk to you while I was getting over this, that was sort of a lie. I don't want to be your friend EVER. I hope we never talk again. I hope you never try to call me, or write me. Please leave me alone, you have hurt me more than anyone in my life.


There, that felt good... :)

[valinors_sorrow]

Take solace in the fact that since our responses are similar in a lot of places that it must just be the gender of the name that does it.

Well I am enjoying being your echo or you mine or whatever it is! LOL :p

[kaitou]

Dearest Ex,

I think we were neither at fault that we broke up, much rather our relationship crumbled because we rushed into things too fast. We should've gotten to know each other better before getting into a relationship. I wish I realize this sooner. Now I just feel sad that things between us are over, and ther'es nothing we can do to fix it. Nevertheless I learnt a lot from this experience, and I will never make the same mistake I did with this relationship. I'll take things slow from now on. Thank you very very much, for teaching me this important lesson.

Maybe one day we'll be friends again :)

[valinors_sorrow]

Wow forget the NC thread becoming the sticky for the relationship forum, I vote for this one instead!

It just keeps on impressing me.

[fshay1]

Okay, I have a tale that will give EVERYONE some solace. I was married for 24 years to my high school sweetheart and she found someone else. After marriage counseling that didn't work and moving out and in and again out, I took MY therapist's advice and I saved myself. Long story short, its 3 years later and last year I found and married my real soul mate. I have always been religious and I like to think that GOD sent my Maureen... my saviour. In any event, I too, before I met Mar, wrote the letter a couple of times. I still love you, I forgive you, blah blah blah. After I wrote the letters, I always waited a day and Every time, the next day. I threw them away. It felt good to unload but now it feels better, obviously, that I let my head lead me and not my emotions. My best advice (and its free and worth every penny) is to try and save your relationship. Do what it takes and again, after 24 years. I was willing to try anything. But when she continues to profess her love for someone else, allow yourself to realize that its over. If you can't save your relationship then SAVE YOURSELF! I took a week and went to Cancun by myself and it helped me to realize that I can survive and stand alone and that life is VERY INTERESTING... a story for another time! Lastly, rely on your friends and relatives. I landed on my feet and so will you! Take care and GOD bless.

[talaniman]

Dearest Ex,

I think we were neither at fault that we broke up, much rather our relationship crumbled because we rushed into things too fast. We should've gotten to know each other better before getting into a relationship. I wish i realize this sooner. Now i just feel sad that things between us are over, and ther'es nothing we can do to fix it. Nevertheless i learnt a lot from this experience, and i will never make the same mistake i did with this relationship. I'll take things slow from now on. Thank you very very much, for teaching me this important lesson.

Maybe one day we'll be friends again :)

I had to spread the love ouch, but had to acknowledge the uplifting beauty of this post because it brings home the point of healing, Great post.

[Teaching]

I think writing things out really puts things in perspective as well I believe it is truly healing. I think it is such a safe way to say what you want to the person. Also, I think it gives closure to oneself. Hope this makes sense!

[kaitou]

I'm in trouble guys. I meant everything I said on my last letter, but now I feel absolutely horrible. I'm sad at the fact that I can't do anything to fix my mistakes. I can't seem to forgive myself for rushing into things so fast. I'm really hoping in the future that we could become friends, but that highly unlikely. I feel bad for ruining a chance of having a great relationship or friendship. It sucks how sometimes in life, you cannot change/fix decisions that you have already made, or things that you have done. What is done is done.

I just can't stop blaming myself for rushing things. I tell myself I should be grateful that I can learn from this experience, and that at least now I know I won't make the same mistake. I should forgive myself for not knowing what harm I could've been doing, when I didn't know better.

I pretty much spend the whole night sleeping and waking with thoughts like those. This is draining me like crazy. I want to shake off the guilt. I keep telling myself, stop blaming yourself about it, just don't do it again. What should I do? How can I stop blaming myself?

[rol]

Hi kaitou,

You have just broken up and began no contact... the first few months you will analyse everything , whay you could have done better and changed...
This is completely normal and normal to feel drained... but all this will prepare you better for you next relationship... use this time wisely so you will never make the same mistakes again... slow is the way...
Take care...

[valinors_sorrow]

I'm in trouble guys. I meant everything i said on my last letter, but now i feel absolutely horrible. I'm sad at the fact that I can't do anything to fix my mistakes. I can't seem to forgive myself for rushing into things so fast. I'm really hoping in the future that we could become friends, but that highly unlikely. I feel bad for ruining a chance of having a great relationship or friendship. It sucks how sometimes in life, you cannot change/fix decisions that you have already made, or things that you have done. What is done is done.

I just can't stop blaming myself for rushing things. I tell myself i should be grateful that i can learn from this experience, and that at least now i know i won't make the same mistake. I should forgive myself for not knowing what harm i could've been doing, when i didn't know better.

I pretty much spend the whole night sleeping and waking with thoughts like those. This is draining me like crazy. I want to shake off the guilt. I keep telling myself, stop blaming yourself about it, just dont do it again. What should i do? how can i stop blaming myself?

Oh my Kaitou, I have been in your shoes. I want to just wrap you up in a hug and rock you while I tell what I know about this important topic.

It is such a painful lesson-- to learn that you contributed to that which hurt you but it is also an incredibly powerful lesson, a life altering lesson and I am not being overly dramatic here. And it comes with such benefits too.

This is where you must begin to hate the sin but love the sinner or you'll get stuck like this again and again-- over all the other mistakes you'll make (yep more are coming LOL) and the ones you will see more clearly now others make. We don't know we are making them when we make them and forgiveness really needs to start with that appreciation.

You will see in time that you only need to make them once (I wish everyone was this awake!) and that many many many good things come to those who learn the lessons -- my god, my whole life is one long testiment to that!! So if our creator can forgive me and the cosmic universe can forgive me, who am I to hold out forgiveness on myself? In a way, that is really bad manners!

Learn now that to atone for the mistake by learning the lesson and therefore being changed by it and not doing it again to the best of your humanly flawed ability is really good enough. It is all that is asked of anyone here, sweetie. Good enough Kaitou -- you learned the lesson!

[LBP]

I'm in the same boat, kaitou. But really, the other side can learn not to be such a baby about getting themselves into emotional entanglements.

So they ended up getting into a relationship a bit faster than they wanted. The best way to solve this problem is pretend that the other person doesn't exist? I will never understand that mentality, not for as long as I live. It's straight up cowardly.

So, yeah, you made some mistakes kaitou... Your job is to learn from them. But this other person had their problems, too.

[talaniman]

kaitou, Join the human race my dear, we all go through the part of our lives where we have emotional trauma in our lives and it is so hard to deal with it and our feelings. First there really is no way to change things that are beyond our control so never feel guilty or responsible for something that just happens, also never beat yourself up for making a mistake as this is merely a lesson to be learned and it can be corrected, maybe not now but certainly next time. Good positive action will help you to see that life is out there and there is a lot to do and learn. Stay busy learning, enjoy, and working on yourself. Volunteer work is something I highly recommend to all who think they suffer alone and is a great way to see a bigger picture. What you are going through now is only life getting you ready for your next step. Hang in there.

[kaitou]

Wow, you guys responded so fast. Reading your post actually made me cry. Which is good, I needed that outlet. My little frustration cry. Thanks a lot :)

[Choosy]

I want to tell my ex GF that I am feeling much more relaxed and happy.Now I am enjoying every bit of my life that I always wanted to.If u think that you are feelingless ,then it doesn't matter to me anymore.Go to hell

[valinors_sorrow]

It sucks how sometimes in life, you cannot change/fix decisions that you have already made, or things that you have done. What is done is done.

It does suck that there is no dress rehearsal in life but at least its fair in that this is true for everyone. I can still remember the day I finally acknowledge (to myself) that I am powerless over others -- it changed instantly a lot of how I operated. And even more enlightening (again, for me) was how later on I realised just how powerless everyone else was over me BWAAH HA HA HA (LOL) and that changed me some more. We are for the most part powerless over each other - the best, if we even get this, is to influence only. That is something to consider and again its arranged fairly too, how nice! You MIGHT influence me, and I MIGHT influence you. But in my case it took professional help for me to get that I am not powerless over myself, nor is anyone else unless they choose to be. That was really a life altering awareness.

The best we can do is wake up, and live a life with eyes open, minds alert and hearts as loving as possible-- to ourselves first and foremost and then to each other. Lose the pollyanna mindset of childhood and see the world and its inhabitants as they are -- both good and bad. It is your job to take care of you -- that is your mandate as an adult. No privileges for us without the corresponding responsibilities. The only real victims on my list are kids, animals and the infirmed-- they do not have the same resources as we do, on many levels.

So, when you see someone who looks like bad news, just quietly duck across the street. Don't be so quick to believe people. Some of us are very deceived and decieving both. But don't take on being jaded either, for that is just as bad. Instead cultivate (along with this realistic discernment about the world) a positive overall outlook because the best is yet to come. Notice the word "overall" and don't put the burden of your happiness on any one person -- its too big of a load for any mortal. And the good stuff that does arrive, be mindful that may not take the size, color, or form you imagined but it does indeed get better and better in the long run -- at least so far it has with me. That is the truth as clearly as I can put it.

[Teaching]

In one of the responses "someone talked about volunteering", doing something for others is truly healing and I truly believe it does a lot for oneself. You learn skills and grow from this experience. It is unfortunate that as adults we have lost our skills taught at childhood and I think it is true - we need to find a way to protect ourselves as the world can be harsh at times. Good luck.

[kaitou]

I just think that it sucks how sometimes you learn one thing from one person, but the price for learning is losing the person who you learn from. Learning the lesson is good, and it hopefully prevent you from doing it again to someone else. But I think it sucks that in some circumstances you can't fix your mistake, no matter how much you want to things just won't go back to before. And also you can't show the person what you learn from him/her.

I hope I'll realize my future mistakes sooner, so it's not too late to fix it. Just so that I won't completely lose a friend in my life.

[talaniman]

Unfortunately those are things beyond our control, we never know what life brings us or why.