[Arthur.C]

So I usually don't do this but this time I'm really clueless as to what I need to do. Basically.. I like this girl I met at school but she has a boyfriend. When I first started talking to her, boy did we talk. Sometimes hours on end. During winter break we would always Skype for hours and talk about anything and everything. We're pretty similar and we instantly clicked the moment we started getting to know each other.

During some of these conversations we'd talk about relationships and what not and she'd complain about her boyfriend sometimes, whereas I would tell her about how I'd treat a girl if I were to find one to be with me. She instantly melted at the thought of what I'd do for a girl, and she'd let me know that too. I knew her better than her boyfriend did and I knew it too.

Now I wanted to let her know that I liked her for quite some time but there are several factors that have been stopping me from doing so.

1. We were such close friends when we were at school and so comfortable with each other that if she didn't like me back, I don't know if our friendship would ever be the same.

Example: We'd stay up all night doing random stuff like recording us singing together, going around stealing signs (Shh. Don't tell anyone. :P) until the break of dawn, getting sucked in and playing Angry Birds all night (It's addicting. Admit it. You love it too.) or just plain old having a good conversation.

I've never had that kind of a platonic relationship with anyone ever before. If anything, I don't want to lose that afterwards.

2. This was probably the deal breaker. During the period when she was complaining to me about her boyfriend trouble, how she was his first girlfriend (Ladies, you know what first relationships are like. Classic situation right here with him.) and all of the troubles that arose with it, I being the idiotic, oblivious, and way-too-moral-driven guy that I am, I decided to help her with her relationship problem instead of telling her how I felt and letting her know that I could treat her the way she should be treated.

(Yes yes. Let the berating, laughing and face-palming begin. Such is my curse.)


As the school year progressed I slowly started to hear news from her that her boyfriend had been getting better relationship-wise and I could tell that the relationship was slowly strengthening. What did I do? Nothing. Like the idiot I am. Sure. I felt good that I helped her fix her relationship, but on the other hand I was beating myself to a pulp as I slowly was being eaten away at the fact that my dream girl is with another guy who probably doesn't even love her as much as I do and certainly not as much as she deserves.

So what I need help from you guys is not so much how do I be a metaphorical home-wrecker, they're not married with kids or anything, but more so how can I tell her that I like her without losing that comfortable and close friendship that we've always had. That's really the only thing I don't want to lose with her, because otherwise I would've gone balls to the wall and told her way ahead of time knowing full well that I might lose her as a friend.

Thanks for any help guys. I know that was a long read but I whole-heartedly appreciate it.

[meanclean]

Tell her how you feel and leave it as that.
Let her come to you.
You don't need the guilt of breaking a couple up.
And remember... there is always two sides to each story!
What's his side?
There is never such a thing called A perfect "relationship"
You have to work at it.
Even if they break up, I would give her time before you ask her out.
YOU Don't Want to BE THE FALL BACK BOY!

[I wish]

Try reading this thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

You haven't been the only one in this situation. Basically, you have to be ready to face the consequences of your decision.

[silver_salvator]

What I think you should do is tell her how you feel and if she stopped talking to you it's her fault because she lost such a good friend, tell her that you will always be there for her and be her friend even though you have feelings for her let her know how you feel!. hoped this helped;)

[Acer5100]

You always run the risk of losing a friend that you care about when you reveal your true feelings. I went through a similar experience recently, which you can read about here.

Despite some ups and downs, we are still good friends. I really don't know if I made the right choice if I want to get over her. I'll be honest, this isn't easy. Knowing that she has feelings for me but still chooses to stay with her boyfriend can get depressing. But this moral part of me doesn't want to abandon her. I don't know if I have some kind of hero complex or something.

What I do know is that talking to her makes me happy above all else. I will put our friendship before my happiness. It's just the way I am. Good luck!

[talaniman]

Say nothing but ease your time with your friend, and get other areas of your life back in balance. She isn't available for romance, plain and simple, and it sucks, but continuing to be so close, knowing you want more, is not a path you want to pursue, especially when you are probably putting your life on hold spending so much time together.

Back off some, as you never know what the future holds, but for now you need a safe distance so you both can stay friends without guilt, or regret. Just curious, if she has a boyfriend, where the hell is he that you can spend so much time with her? And don't you think it says something when she tells you that her relationship is getting better with him? Think she was trying to tell you something, like she is happy with who she is with, and happy with just being friends with you?

Keep your feelings to yourself, and stay within the boundaries of good behavior, and you can keep your own dignity, and self respect.

[Homegirl 50]

"Keep your feelings to yourself, and stay within the boundaries of good behavior, and you can keep your own dignity, and self respect."
- talaniman

Nothing better could be said in my opinion.

[nokiaimbo]

Wazzup bro?

I get your story fully and you would not believe this but I am caught up in the same situation.. My best friend who is a girl in my school has started developing feelings for a very good friend of mine and this is the same time that my feelings for her are becoming serious..

Me and her used to hang out a lot and when I say a lot I mean everywhere and anytime just me and her. We joked around a lot, talked on the phone for hours about every single thing your brain could imagine and even went for lunch together..

This all changed when I broke my ankle and I was in hospital for 5 weeks. She used to call me everyday to find out how I'm doing, she even came to visit me a couple of times with chocolates and cards.. In this period that I wasn't in school she started to hang out with my best friend (GUY) a lot so after sometime they both started feeling something for each other and she would call me and tell me this.. She would ask me on advise about the guy and I would help her so as to seem like a genuine friend although I was really hurting myself but there was nothing I could do.

Now they are about to start going out and me and her still are bestfriends but I have to get this message across before things get too serious.. Suprisingly we've even grown closer to each other than ever before because of this guy and I feel like I should let things be and support her in her decisions... I have a very good feeling about me and her becoming more than friends but only if I let her go out with this guy then she will start to realize that probably she is not in the right place.. Problem is that her friends give her messages to pass it on to me and most of them are really messed up because I am in the football team.. Sometimes she thinks that I am just the same like all the other jerks in the football team who just want to have sex and leave her and she has told me this...

I say this because after I was discharged from hospital she used to tell me to go outside school and wait for her to come so that we could hang out me and her only inside my car.. This has been happening for the last one week and we have been talking about serious staff and she always calls me at night and we talk for minimum time of two hours everyday.. I am going to fight for her if I have to during this December holiday..

So, YER that's my story but I'm sure that magical day will come and you should also fight for wHAT YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT OR IN THIS CASE FOR WHO U REALLY CARE ABOUT BRO... GO GET HER NOW!!