[zuzie]

I had an affair and I decided to finish that relationship last Tuesday. Since that day I haven't heard from him. He is a married man and at first everything went great. Our affair lasted for three months.

Last month he started acting funny and he was texting someone even when he was with me. I miss him a lot but I think he was just using me even though I told him and showed him that I loved him. I did many things to help him in his job. He used to tell me that everything was just fine in his marriage and with his two sons. I asked him that if his marriage was so great , why was he having an affair with me and he just said that it was be causes he liked me very much.

Last night in my sleep I was dreaming with him and suddenly I felt as if he were standing right by my bedside. I woke up feeling very scared and I don't´t know why. After, later on the day I had to go out of town with a friend and when she was driving I fell asleep and the same thing happened. Suddenly in my sleep he was standing by my side and again I felt afraid.

Why is this happening? What does it mean? Was he just playing and using me when we were together?

[amicon]

The guy's a serial cheater and you're well rid of him.

As for your dreams-your subconscious is letting you know that he was bad news-your focus should be on moving on and having a great life.

So stay away from the guys that are taken-find somebody single and available.

[talaniman]

You were into him and gave while he took. You used each other to feel good, but he had more important things besides you.

What do you expect from a happily married guy with kids? Of course he used you, and you let him.

[Fr_Chuck]

You knew or should have known there was no future in this, you were to have at best some stolen moments, then he went home to the arms of his wife, Not really a lot of self respect in that to me.

And if he was cheating on his wife, why would he even have a second thought in cheating on you, he may have had two or three women he was cheating with, some men have more.

You were a sex partner not a relationship.

And he does not want a relationship

Your dream can be just that, a dream of him since you in your waking hours miss him and wish that you were the wife. ( then at least he comes home after cheating on you)

Just stop contact with him, don't text, don't call and don't answer if he does

[Alty]

I had an affair and I decided to finish that relationship last Tuesday. Since that day I haven't heard from him.

Did you expect to hear from him after you ended things? Did you break up with him because you finally realized that he's a dead end, or did you break up with him hoping that he'd come crawling to you begging to have you back?

I miss him a lot but I think he was just using me even though I told him and showed him that I loved him. I did many things to help him in his job. He used to tell me that everything was just fine in his marriage and with his two sons.

Yes, he was just using you. You were a willing women, willing to spread your legs even though you knew he was "happily" married. He's not going to leave his wife for you. You were just for sex, which he got.

I asked him that if his marriage was so great , why was he having an affair with me and he just said that it was be causes he liked me very much.

Of course he liked you. You were a willing women, willing to have sex with him. What's not to like about that? He can have you, go back to his wife and kids, and not have to worry about any relationship with you, because that's never what he wanted. He was after sex. He got it. Now that you're leaving he'll find someone else to screw around with.

Was he just playing and using me when we were together?

Yes, he was. Did you really think he'd leave his family for you? What ever made you think that? He told you he had a wonderful marriage. His idea of wonderful is messed up, but the fact is, he's married, and he won't leave his wife, not for you, not for any other woman willing to spread her legs for him.

Forget him, find some self respect, and stop going after men that are married. That's a dead end.

[Jake2008]

I agree with everything said about this guy being bad news, and you have learned that affairs with married men (who have children), is never a good idea. He just wasn't ever available, and never will be.

The dreams maybe have something to do with realizing now, what type of person he really is. He is a liar, he is a cheater (to his wife, and probably to you too), he cannot be trusted, his words and actions do not add up to a person who has any moral character. He is selfish, deceiving, and uses people for his own selfish purposes. I am afraid of people like that too, and there are no shortages of them anywhere.

You are learning that what you thought about him, was, in reality, not the way he was at all. He was the opposite of how he presented himself to be. You expected that you were special and your relationship to him, mattered as much as you felt toward him. Now you are learning that it didn't.

The lesson to be learned here? Never mix it up with a man who is married. No matter how much you may be attracted to him. Think of a married man as simply not being available. Realize that no matter how miserable a married man may be with his wife, he is still married, and not available.

Three people in one relationship, never works.

You aren't the first one to allow yourself to be fooled, and you won't be the last. Realize this for what it was, accept that you've learned a hard lesson, and never allow it to happen again.