[cbann01]

What kind of reasons do I need to termiate my legal right to my children,there is knothing wrong with me or the children I work hard to take care of them they are well mannered boys ages 7and 8.I am a single mom and I do what is right.but the problem is their father.he lives in NJ.where I moved from to IN. for a better life with the kids my oldest who is not his has gone on to the Army and is doing well.So I am capable of raising children.He is to see the children 6weeks in the summer and 1 week for Christmas,just recently the courts gave him 9 weeks for the summer to my disapproval.this has been on going since my oldest son was 2 court appearances every 3 months,I am tired.The conflict that I have is just as two people can't drive one car,two people can't raise two kids when there is total conflict.he choses to let the boys be watched by whoever,there is no structure when the children are in his care.after 6 week in the summer the children come home to me and I have to restructure them from inside to out,from not running in the house to sitting to the table.I can't even begin to imagine what they will be after 9 weeks of no home training.the battle for them is to learn and remember what goes at what house.I know its hard for them to pick what to do, who to do it with,so I feel that they should be in one setting so they can function in that environment.because right now the two house holds are not the same.I don't want to battle with all the retraing and constant butt-in from their father.Two different states and the courts have let him know that at any time he has access to their life (and mine) and it shold be limits.

[ScottGem]

First, I moved this to the Family Law forum (from Children) where it belongs. When you start with a site like this, you should browse around a bit first to see where the appropriate places to post are. This would have also helped because if you browsed this forum you would have found that you cannot terminate your rights. Only a court can terminate parental rights and they would not do so it this circumstance.

Besides you don't need a TPR. All you need is to cede physical custody to the father. Let him be the custodial parent. That would, probably, mean you would have to pay support.

So you think its better for the kids to grow up in an atmosphere that doesn't give them care and structure? Wouldn't it make more sense to fight against his lack of parenting skills?

[cbann01]

Not when it seem that the courts favor him. My money does not last that long I don't just want to give physical custody to him that means he is still connected to me some kind of way I want him have total control. I don't want to be tied to the situation at all.He is bad for my health a person should not have to stress this bad over something like this.(him) I realize that it sounds bad that I am even thing of this but I don't see an end to the madness and I don't want to do another 10 years of this mess.So with that said the way I see to cleaning up the mess (he&I) made is to let him raise his sons the way he wants to because the court is not,has not been listening to me.

[ScottGem]

Again, it ain't going to happen. No court is going to issue a TPR in these circumstances.

[this8384]

There is a sticky at the top of the Family Law forum regarding TPR, which you can read here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...st-116098.html

As Scott has already pointed out, you simply cannot give the children to their father and wash your hands of the situation.

I'm going to step away from the legal aspect of this for a moment. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I disagree with you on a lot of this. The rules need to be set and respected - you are the adult, they are the child. I don't care how long they spend with their father; if they KNOW they have to respect you, they're going to do it.

How exactly has the court "not been listening to you"? I'm wondering just what it is that you're complaining about in court; I don't find "running in the house" to be that horrific and neither would a judge. They're children - it's what they do. If they were running the streets during all hours of the night, that would be a different story. But the things you complained about above don't seem that like issues, to be honest.

I'm also slightly bothered by your comment:

"Two different states and the courts have let him know that at any time he has access to their life (and mine) and it shold be limits"

It appears that you feel you should be able to tell your ex when he can contact the children; that's very selfish and unrealistic. He is their father and although you may not enjoy his company, studies have proven that the children need him in their life.

I think what really bothers me the most is that you're on here complaining about his lack of parenting skills, yet are asking how you can relinquish the children to him without any responsibility. It doesn't appear that you're actually concerned with the children and their well-being; it sounds more as if you're worried about yourself.

Personally, from what I'm reading here, I think you're picking fights over trivial matters, creating stress for yourself and now trying to wiggle out from underneath it.

[Fr_Chuck]

You can give him custody, and you can not fight for and not ask for any visitation at all. So you can give them to him, never call, never see them and let him raise them.
All you will have to do is pay the child support that will be ordered.

[J_9]

So, you give him total legal custody and you vanish from the lives of the children that you created. Karma sucks and it WILL come back to you when the children are older.

You had sex with him and created children. Yes, he's going to be connected to you for the rest of your life. Period. No if's and's or but's about it.

Be a deadbeat mother. But I guarantee you that the troubles you have now are NOTHING like the troubles you will have in the future if you go through with this.