[scotty396]

My step daughter is in college and has lived with her dad for the last 6 years. She wants to live by the college and not at home this summer. Her dad says if she does he'll not help her in any way throughout the summer and for the first semester next year. Her mom, my wife wants to help her so bad it's starting to hurt or relationship due to the fact of the strain of our finances. She goes to college 7 hours from us. What to do? And she has already sent her 700 dollars. The daughter say it will cost her 100 dollars per week in expences and 300 a month in rent... How do I handle this with out causing ant harm to my family where I live..

[Cat1864]

How old is the daughter and why is her father cutting her off? Does she have a job-even part-time to help with her own expenses?

Has your wife been paying child support for her daughter?

My first suggestion is to talk to the ex and find out why he has made this decision. There may be some background information that might make his decision seem like the best way to go.

Your wife may need to understand that while it is instinctive to want to help your child, sometimes you have to back off and let the child find her own wings.

[Jake2008]

It sounds like her father has been very generous in his support of his daughter, in terms financially that have worked, and that he can afford.

Because he has made a decision, my advice is to back him up. If he's making the financial call (for whatever reason) and paying the bulk of her education, he should not be undermined by you and your wife footing the extra expenses. This stepdaughter of yours just wants what she wants, and expects everybody else to pay for it.

My advice to you and your wife is to talk to the father, and not be hoodwinked into providing additional money simply because this girl wishes a change of venue, which is unnecessary!

If she chooses to move, she can pick up a couple of part time jobs to pay for her own expenses, and should not expect others to pick up the slack.