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Jdolly · May 25, 2011, 04:31 PM

Well OK so we will start by saying I'm 17 turning 18 in a couple weeks . I met a girl named Sarah last year in December at school . We became good friends and I like her. A couple weeks after this I met my girlfriend Larissa . Since last feb 2010 we've been dating. I've always had feelings for sarah . And in the summer when I had problems with my relationship we would talk on the phone for 3 hours at a time. Sarah recently got a boyfriend 3 months ago . I want to tell her but I don't know :( what do I do ?

Wondergirl · May 25, 2011, 04:33 PM

You don't do anything. Sarah has a boyfriend and is off-limits to you.

Jdolly · May 25, 2011, 04:46 PM

I know but like maybe if he knew how I felt . Like we have a grad camping trip this weekend and she's going :(

Cat1864 · May 25, 2011, 05:24 PM

Where does your current girlfriend, Larissa, fit in all of this?

If you aren't happy in your relationship, get out of it and heal.

Sarah does not need to know how you feel especially since not only is she in a relationship, but so are you.

Telling Sarah how you feel would be selfish and, at very least, emotionally cheating on Larissa. I say selfish because you are thinking of yourself and what you want without taking the other three people involved.

I am going to honest and say that I don't think you care about Sarah as much as you want to believe you do. You have had months to get out of one relationship, heal, and then let Sarah know how you felt BEFORE she got involved with her boyfriend.

I think it is the pending changes that are coming with the end of not only the school year but your time in high school as well that has you trying to make mountains out of mole hills. Don't let fear of the future cause you to make a huge mistake.

Congratulations on graduating and good luck in the future.

Homegirl 50 · May 25, 2011, 05:42 PM

You don't do anything. You have a girl friend she has a boy friend. What would be the point?
Or were you planning on maybe cheating while on your camping trip?
Leave this alone. It will not be worth the grief it would cause.

talaniman · May 25, 2011, 08:23 PM

What she is supposed to drop her boyfriend for you? Cheat on him? What do you want her do do? She probably will be shocked, and disappointed, and want nothing more to do with you.

Don't complicate your life with a girl who has someone. You should have done all that confessing before you had a girlfriend, and before she had a boyfriend. To late now, so enjoy the friendship, and don't ask her to cheat, and don't you cheat. You could lose a good friend, and your girl.

Alty · May 25, 2011, 10:22 PM

Like everyone else has said, you leave Sarah alone. You don't pee on someone else's yard. She has a boyfriend, that makes her off limits, unless you want to be that kind of guy. Morals, they're important in every day life.

Cheating isn't something you take lightly. Sometimes you can't have what you want. It's best you learn that now, and learn to deal with not being able to have what you want because it's off limits to you.

I wish · May 26, 2011, 01:45 PM

First off, focus on your current relationship with Larissa. If things aren't working out, then go your separate ways. Quit leading her on if you don't feel strongly about her.

As for Sarah. You missed the boat and now you want to swim after it? I refer you to these guidelines: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ip-463250.html

BMI · May 26, 2011, 02:03 PM

Thanks for the backgroud ^I wish.

I was reading the initial situation and thought 'wow, bad timing', now I get it.

I agree with all the wisdom above, 100%.

Also, these things are rarely what they appear. I think it's common to have eyes for that 'best friend' that seems to be there for you when you need them. Especially when said best friend is of the opposite sex (hollywood makes a killing off this storyline). It may be an infatuation that has you thinking all kinds of wonderful but crazy posibilities with Sarah. In fact, age is not even all that relevant as I have had similar thoughts once in awhile and I'm only... ahem... a couple years older than you:)

The underlying point is that while I think it is normal to go through this phase, what you do about it is most important. To act would be foolish (and I don't think it would bring you success either). It'd be a shame to ruin two or three relationships based on misguided feelings that may well pass in a few weeks.

Jdolly · May 26, 2011, 03:29 PM

That's the thing the feelings have been since we met .

talaniman · May 26, 2011, 03:45 PM

And what would you base your ACTIONS on? Feelings. Or FACTS.