[ddkeeth]

How would a wife give her wonderful husband of 8 yrs a child when she can no longer can have children ? How can a loving stable couple wanting to raise a family together have no family to raise ? How could she look into his soft eyes and strong arms and tell him I hope it will only be a little bit longer ? How can I ? D

[Wondergirl]

Well, there are lots of older children to adopt. There are myriads of volunteer opportunities working with children in all sorts of ways. Have you considered any of those ideas?

[Fr_Chuck]

And there is life without children, a lot of people can not and do not have children, You make it sound as if the world will end and life is over because you don't have children.

Is this both you and husbands fellings or more just yours.
Have you and husband been to counseling over this ?

[ddkeeth]

And there is life without children, a lot of people can not and do not have children, You make it sound as if the world will end and life is over because you don't have children.

Is this both you and husbands fellings or more just yours.
Have you and husband been to counseling over this ?

Thank You for your support but yes it is what the two of us want deeply. As you see by our dating 8 yrs and now married 8 yrs we think through everything thoughly. This is what we want but on the other hand if it doesn't happen our world will not end over it. It will just be a sad chapter in our life. Children bring a lot of joy and happiness to a couple. Are you a parent ? Do you know the joy I am talking about ? Not everyone is meant to be parents that is true but there are a lot of people that have a lot of love and knowledge to give to children, to our future. Thanks for your coment hope to hear from you soon. Thanks D

[J_9]

Why can't you no longer have children? Have you considered being foster parents?

[ddkeeth]

Why can't you no longer have children? Have you considered being foster parents?

No I can't have any more children. I have one daughter now 32 will be 33 soon. I had my daughter at age 14 yrs and raised her myself believe it or not. That was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I don't recommend that to any child unless she has family to help her. I did not my parent died when I was young and my siblings scattered. We are coming back together probably because we are older and our children are older and wanting us all to start family reuions. Any way my daughter gave us 5 grandchildren but at the end of the day they are our grandchildren and we don't see them every day and they are ages 15,14,8,7,2 and getting a life of there own. I guess I have grandma empty nest. But my husband was there with us for every birth and I was with my daughter during their birth. They look at my husband as their only grandfather and he adores them so much. He is a big strong farm man, can't say boy, but he is gental and kind heart inside. He is an only child and I am from a large family. He as I want to raise a child together and every night tuck that little girl/boy which every in bed at night. We want to feel the joy of being parents together. I never had that with my daughters father. I just know if that day comes and I do lay my husbands child in his arms he will as I fight back tears of joy. Waiting for a baby at our age 47 yrs old my take some time and then fostering the children theyn may come and go. I know my husband and I. Each time a little one is taken back to be placed with another foster parent or back to the parents our hearts will break. I just don't want my husband to ever be hurt. Thinking right now of ever shedding a tear from his eye brings tears to mine. I love him dearly. He is my best friend. He deserves to be a father because he has so much to give to a child. Like I said our grandchildren adore him as he adores them and they are not biologically his. Thanks for your interest. Hope to hear from you again. D

[Synnen]

Why can you not have more children? What does your doctor say?

Unfortunately, in your late 40s, you are NOT an ideal parent for a birthparent to choose for an infant. Sorry, but you'd be past retirement age by the time the child graduates from high school. And unfortunately, birthparents have the upper hand in choosing adoptive parents--because there are so few choosing adoption these days.

If you want to raise a child with your husband, you need to either look into an international adoption, in interracial adoption (or both!), or look into foster care.

Have you even met with the foster care services in your area? I don't think you quite understand how the foster care system works. There are quite a few options for long-term fostering, ESPECIALLY if you would look at the older children who are desperate for families.

The odds of you getting an infant through adoption are VERY slim unless you look at international adoption--and some countries may still deny you because of your age.

Please look into either adopting a child who is NOT an infant or look into fostering children desperate for a family.

[ddkeeth]

Why can you not have more children? What does your doctor say?

Unfortunately, in your late 40s, you are NOT an ideal parent for a birthparent to choose for an infant. Sorry, but you'd be past retirement age by the time the child graduates from high school. And unfortunately, birthparents have the upper hand in choosing adoptive parents--because there are so few choosing adoption these days.

If you want to raise a child with your husband, you need to either look into an international adoption, in interracial adoption (or both!), or look into foster care.

Have you even met with the foster care services in your area? I don't think you quite understand how the foster care system works. There are quite a few options for long-term fostering, ESPECIALLY if you would look at the older children who are desperate for families.

The odds of you getting an infant through adoption are VERY slim unless you look at international adoption--and some countries may still deny you because of your age.

Please look into either adopting a child who is NOT an infant or look into fostering children desperate for a family.

Thank you for your advice and interest in my post. Thanks D

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes children can be a blessing but heart ache also, You sound like with your one, things went perfect, but there are also being woke up by a knock at the door from the police asking you if you have a son or daughter named >>>>

And having to watch them trying to detox off who knows what drug and drinking.

Or sitting at the hospital watching them die from a car wreck or some illness.

There are good and bad, but there is also lots of work for children that can be done and needs help with from dozens of non profit groups

[ddkeeth]

Yes children can be a blessing but heart ache also, You sound like with your one, things went perfect, but there are also being woke up by a knock at the door from the police asking you if you have a son or daughter named >>>>

And having to watch them trying to detox off of who knows what drug and drinking.

Or sitting at the hospital watching them die from a car wreck or some illness.

There are good and bad, but there is also lots of work for children that can be done and needs help with from dozens of non profit groups

Yes I do agree that there are a lot of good with the bad when it comes to any relationship. Any relationship any and all those things can happen but a child should never go before their parent. But I guess that is in only perfect lives. My friend of many years lost her only child, her son at 22 yrs to a car accident. He was driving so fast and lost control of his vehical and rapped the car around a telephone pole. He hit his head so hard on the windshield that he was brain dead. All because he was mad at a girl. She drives by that pole at lest two times a day, to and from work. I often asked myself how she could do that. I then waited many years and asked her. She said it is very hard at first I thought I would loss my mind but the pain has leson. She doesn't want to move from her home because she feels close to him there because that was the last place they shared together. But you know even in all that pain God has given us time, time to heal and to choose to live or not. That will be our choice. She chose to go on and to make the best out of her life even when she wanted to die. Thank You so much for your time and interest. D