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Lindz323 · May 11, 2011, 05:35 PM

So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now and its been great but he has a class with a girl that he always talks to. He says he has no feelings but when I pick on him about flirting with her he gets all defensive does that mean something? He doesn't text her a lot but they do talk a lot in class and are always together during class. And evrytime I get around her I get a really weird feeling and I hate the feeling because I go all quiet and won't talk to my boyfriend for a little bit. Should I be worried or am I just crazy?? :(

DoulaLC · May 11, 2011, 06:24 PM

Think about it carefully... have you been "picking on him" quite a bit about flirting with her? You might be thinking you are coming off as just joking around, but really you are fishing for his response. If it is fairly often, he may simply not like what you are implying and is tired of hearing it over and over.

Does he spend plenty of time with you? Do the two of you go out or spend time together on a pretty regular basis? From what you have said, it sounds like the majority of his communication with her is while they are in class. I would think that if he had an interest in her, they would be talking more outside of class as well.

Have you ever been friendly with a guy in one of your classes? Maybe joked around with him... talked a bit before the teacher started the class? You might think he is nice, maybe even think he is kind of cute, but that doesn't mean you'd want to go out with him or not be dating your boyfriend.

Be careful that you don't ignore your boyfriend just because you feel weird being around her. Try to act as you normally would. She sounds like just a friend from a class and nothing more.

mmresd · May 12, 2011, 10:05 AM

Sometimes after joking about the same thing over and over again it can get annoying and it will get under one's skin. For example, I have a girlfriend who I live with right now, she used to work for me at a business that I own and that is how I meet her. Well, she no longer works for me, she just takes care of my apartment for now at least since I am still waiting for her to get out of school, but I hired another worker and she sometimes questions me about her, because naturally I sell make up, colognes, and perfumes so I look for pretty ladies to work at my store because I believe that they promote the product better. The other day, she started asking me about her and started playing around if I had messed around with her or if I was doing the same things with her as I used to do with my girlfriend. But no, I haven't, however, I joked back and now she won't stop playing around with it, it is getting a little annoying and now I am defensive because sometimes I feel like she doesn't believe me anymore and is accusing me of doing something wrong, when I haven't done anything.

What I would recommend is to back off, maybe you are more infatuated with this girl while your boyfriend just sees her as a friend. Chill out and just enjoy your time with your boyfriend, don't put unnecessary stress on the relationship over some girl who he is friends with wanting to hang out with him during class time. After all, he is EXCLUSIVE to you right?

Good Luck,
Javi

sharper11 · May 12, 2011, 01:21 PM

How much do you pick on him? If it is very often, his "defensiveness" could be because he's tired of telling you the same thing all of the time.

Besides him talking to her in class, what other "signs" have you seen to make you think he is not interested in you. And on that note, always picking on him will push him away.

I suggest you back off. If he is saying they are just friends, and there aren't any other signs, it would be wise to trust him, as trust is a major part of a relationship.