[nightkids831]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost four years now. All of a sudden, she told me she wants to break up because she does not feel the same way she feel toward about me when we first started going out. Not only that, but she is going to college soon so she think there will be better guys out there that match her. But at the same time, she don't want to break up with me because she is STILL in love with me and is afraid that there will not be a boyfriend as good as me. That's fine. I feel like I have become a backup plan to her. But how can she say she lost feeling for me now that we have been going out for so long? To me, the excitement of a new relationship is nothing compare to the bound of a couple. Which leads me to think that she honestly just doesn't love me anymore and wants to get a new boyfriend.
I know that she don't value love or this relationship as much as I do. But I just can't let go of her. Even knowing that I have become a backup plan to her, I don't care and will wait for her to come back to me. I know that deep down I should let her go and enjoy my own life.. but this is so painful, how can I just let it go?

[vanheart]

Im sure she still has feelings, but sometimes you have to let things go. Believe me.

She doesn't want to be tied down. I don't blame her. You are both young.

There's more out there. For both of you. Way more.

If you are worried about being a "backup plan". There's only one remedy.

Don't be. Be just like her. Free.

And be glad for the times you have had. Don't prolong pain.

Be cool. Stay that way. Don't press it. Anymore. Give her what she wants.

And move on. Like she's doing.

[Fr_Chuck]

People mature, change and move on often. She is moving off to college and will have new interests. She already said she will be looking for someone better ? So why not say you will be friends and just move on and see if there are others you can date

[talaniman]

Are you one of those guys that waits until a female stomps your heart into the dirt before you decide to get some dignity, and self respect for yourself?

She is telling you all this so you can dump her, and she can move on without guilt. So dump her, without guilt, and start doing your thing without her. That's what she is going to do any way, her own thing, because if you get hurt down the road, don't say she didn't tell you so!

Oh I know how hard that is to leave a female after 4 years but dude, high school is over, and adult hood begins.

Dump her, and don't look back.

[Sumitkumar7266]

Don't wait for the girl who don't love you.If you are a backup plan then leave her.. In love we should get the love and when the love is burden we should leave that and move our life with someone else.. Now she will be going to college and she will definitely do the same thing what she told you.. So better prepare yourself and before she get new one.. Try to get it for you.. She is not committed and she will never be.. So better move on and let your life free for sometime...

[amicon]

How about finding some self respect and stop seeing yourself as somebody's back up plan?

Time to end it,and start a new life without her in it.

[kcomissiong]

There is a saying about this that I'll quote here:

"Never make somebody a priority who only makes you an option."

By staying, you are giving her permission to use you when she has no one else she is interested in. She will treat you the way that you let her. Walking away says that your feelings are important, and you won't let anyone else devalue you or your love. It doesn't make it easier, but the right choice is hardly the easy one. Good luck.

[mmresd]

How can you just let it go? Simple, you make the decision to do so.

Is it going to be painful after such a long relationship? Oh yeahhh, but it will get better as time passes by.

You are not the boyfriend anymore, she has broken up with you. Please don't allow her to use you as her back up, have some self respect for yourself and properly end the relationship. Start healing instead of prospering the inevitable by giving yourself false hope of her maybe coming back one day. She wants to have fun in college, and who can blame her, you go do the same thing. ;)

Good luck,
Javi

[martinizing2]

Letting go is not simple or easy.
You can't turn off love with a switch.

Even though it is painful now to let go,
It gets worse the longer you put it off.

You can do it now through the pain
Or later through the added pain of
Lost dignity and no self respect.

Stop all contact now and save yourself
Added anguish.