[coruzzi2]

About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend of one year and I were hanging out at our usual spot, A café in a local shopping center, for his best friends birthday. My boyfriend is a pretty heavy smoker. About 3 stores down from the café, there's a 7/11 convienent store. When he smoked his last ciggarette, he decided to walk down to the 7/11 to buy more. I came with him. When we just about to hit 7/11, in front of this pub, there was a marroon hyundai sante fe backed in to the parking space on our right side. When we began passing it, two young males get out of the car, one out of the front seat, one out of the back seat. The one who got out of the back seat pulls out a revolver gun and says "Give me Everything you got." and his little friend behind him is yelling "SHOOT HIM, KILL HIS A**!" Obviously, because I'm here to tell the story, it ended well. My boyfriend intimidated him, and scared them off, by looking him straight in the eye and saying sternly while showing him the inside of his wallet that he doesn't have any cash on him. There's more detail to the incident, but it's not that crucial to my question. Even before this incident, for someone my age (20) I am exteremly cautious and value life so much that I absolutely fear losing it. Especially if it means being taken away by some ignorant loser. Thus inducing my intense fear of guns and death. I can't even walk down the street, ECPECIALLY now, without tembling inside and having terrible thoughts. I am a strong believer that if you imagine something that vividly in your head over and over again, you may attract something like that to your life. Which I think may have been the cause for what happened that night to begin with. So now it's gotten worse and it just drives me insane that I can't enjoy myself because I live a life of fear. The first week after this incident, it almost helped because I faced that fear. But now, the fear has come back- stronger. Every time I see someone who looks like or reminds me of one of the dudes from that night (which is often), or simply when I walk up to my house door at night, or to my car from work, I get that deep feeling of fear very similar to that I felt while I had a gun pointed at me. And it's an annoying feeling, especially because I do acknowlede that I'm paranoid and it's silly. I could use some good pointers on how to control this. Please help.

[JudyKayTee]

I trust you reported this incident to the Police - you certainly have more than the usual amount of ID info. Did the Police reassure you at all?

The World is a dangerous place. No question about that. If your thoughts are obsessive, control your life, sap your strength, then you need to speak to a professional. That's not unusual after such an experience. I'm surprised that the Police didn't suggest it.

I notice that you have problems in other areas of your life - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-456360-8.html

Speaking to a professional should help you in all areas.

Because you are the victim of an (intended) crime there should be no charge to you for the counselling. I would check with the Police and/or DA and ask for a referral.

Sometimes it's impossible to get over/past things without intervention.

Good luck.

[coruzzi2]

I trust you reported this incident to the Police - you certainly have more than the usual amount of ID info. Did the Police reassure you at all?

The World is a dangerous place. No question about that. If your thoughts are obsessive, control your life, sap your strength, then you need to speak to a professional. That's not unusual after such an experience. I'm surprised that the Police didn't suggest it.

I notice that you have problems in other areas of your life - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...-456360-8.html

Speaking to a professional should help you in all areas.

Because you are the victim of an (intended) crime there should be no charge to you for the counselling. I would check with the Police and/or DA and ask for a referral.

Sometimes it's impossible to get over/past things without intervention.

Good luck.

Thank you!
But all the other areas in my life are just fine. Almost perfect. If you're referring to any older posts, they're all old and I've grown a lot since then and now laugh at them.
But the big thing is, that even before this incident I've always been paranoid. I might get it from my mother, who calls me every time she hears an ambulance go by. Ha.
& I did report the incident, of course. Cops arrived on the scene almost immediately after. But there's no evidence, I'm sure they've gotten away with this. All I have is a brief desciription of the guys and the car they drive- (one in a thousand)
I feel like I reallly need to pursue my dreams and go travel to Europe in some of the safest, nicest places to live, with very low crime rates. So on top of being happy, I will feel safer in my own environment. I guess where I live here in Las Vegas is becoming reallly ghetto. Which disgusts me. But ultimately, environment has a lot to do with it. These thoughts make me happy and reassured. But I do have two years to go to achieve my college degree, so that means two more years of paranoia that might put me in a white, padded room!

[JudyKayTee]

Go for counselling. I'm shocked that the Police did so little when there was a gun involved and a threat to kill your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, posts on AHD live forever. Glad that things worked out for you.

[Fr_Chuck]

First I will say your boyfriend needs some counseling perhaps, since doing what he did is what causes people to die. You do not argue back to armed robbers unless there is no choice.
He could have caused you both to die very easy.

The chances of being robbed is rare, you have a better chance of being hit by lightening, esp if you are not out late at night, and watch where you are at.

But at this point, if it is effecting your life, you get counseling.