[NeedingHelpPlz]

I've always been- to be blunt- a female player, you could say. I have played around (no sex, though) with a couple of guys. So here's the problem- I dated Guy 1, and we were both not serious at all so we both broke it off in around a week, and we were back to normal, and nobody knew about us. A couple of months later, I went out with Guy 2, who was, and still is, Guy 1's friend. He was quite serious, but I wasn't and didn't want to lead him on. We broke up after around a month. He became very messed up and I didn't go out with anyone for a year and a bit because I felt so guilty. Now, Guy 3 (last guy, don't worry) has asked me out. It just so happens that he is also Guy 1 and Guy 2's friend. I'm also good friends with him. I told him I would think about it but implied I would say yes. Now I feel terrible- I definitely don't want to hurt him and I'm scared that I might. Also I feel really guilty towards the previous guys, and I also don't want to risk my friendship with Guy 3. Do I have commitment issues- what do I do? I'm not even sure I like this Guy 3 a lot... How do I solve this problem without breaking another heart?

[Alty]

You have to decide what it is you want. Are you really into guy three? It sounds like you aren't, but you don't want to hurt him so you agreed to go out with him.

Are you willing to lose his friendship if and when you two break up?

I've been in this situation. I dated a lot when I was younger, and sadly your post is exactly like something I dealt with. I was friends with a group of guys, I dated one, then dated another, then went on to the third. After the third and I broke up, he was heartbroken, and I ended up losing everyone. We never spoke again. That was over 22 years ago. :(

It seems like you're friends with all of them, but you're really not into any of them as anything other then friends.

Be honest with yourself and with them. You don't have to date someone just because they asked.

You have to stand up for yourself. If you don't want to date him tell him that for you, his friendship means too much to risk losing it.

Maybe it's time to swim in a different pool when it comes to finding a boyfriend. ;)

[NeedingHelpPlz]

A guy asked me out and I told him to give me a week to think about it. On that night, I called him and told him to ask me the next time he saw me, and not to worry, because I would give him "good news". Now, I'm not so sure I want to date him anymore, but he's a really shy guy and after basically telling him 'yes', I'm not sure how to tell him I don't want to go out with him anymore without breaking his heart or making him really angry. Tips?

P.S. He is also one of my close guy friends...

[Wondergirl]

Is that what is done in 2011, beat around the bush -- "give me a week" and "I'm going to give you good news" and "now I'm not sure"? What happened to "yes" or "no" as an answer when someone asks you out?

Are girls so worried about guys' self esteem nowadays that they can't say "no" nicely? I've been reading that parents and educators can't say "no" either for fear of destroying a child's fragile ego. Is that where this is coming from?

If you tell him "no," he WILL live to see another day.

[talaniman]

Relax player, just start being honest, and just curious, going from friend, to friend, to friend, is a good way not to have any friends of your own.

Thought you knew that player.

[ken007nielsen]

I agree completely with Wondergirl.

People now-a-days, so scared of hurting someone. If you don't want to do something you just don't do it. Just try to be as polite as possible, if that hurts the ego of the fragile young boy, it might be sad but it's certainly not your responsibility..

And a tip for you, if you want something go after it, or say yes - if not, just say no or stay away from it!

[amicon]

You tell him,there's no option-honesty is always the best policy.

[martinizing2]

Don't wait for the next time you see him to tell him.

Call ( or text since you younger ones seem to fear the human voice) and tell him you have changed your mind and would rather remain good friends.

Dating friends is one of the best ways to ruin a relationship.

But he deserves an honest straight answer and if he is not
Man enough to handle a polite honest answer , he needs to stay in moms basement until he can face the everyday disappointments life has to offer and it is not your doing or problem.

Or you could fake your death and avoid him from now on.
I prefer the first answer but like to offer alternatives.

May I ask why it takes a week to decide if you want to go out with someone you know as a good friend?
It seems to me that that is a fairly easy thing to do.

[I wish]

Instead of leading him on more than you already have, please stop and tell him how you really feel.

You're hurting him more by not being honest to him.

How old are you guys?