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Brownsugar18 · Apr 7, 2011, 03:21 PM

OK we met 4 months after he broke with his girlfriend.. he was so sweet in the beginning,we've been dating ever since I even introduced him to my mom.. He called me like 2 weeks after the child was born and told he had something to tell me.. the went on Facebook and saw a bunch on comments congratulating him on his baby boy. I asked him to explain his response was that when he didn't want to tell me in the beginning because he thought I would be mad and wouldn't want to go out with him... now she is leaving comments on his page as if they're still together and he has become distance ever since I found out.. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt or leave him and remain friends...

southamerica · Apr 7, 2011, 03:48 PM

If she's still acting like they're in a relationship, then you need to ask him point blank what the status of their relationship is.

I know from experience that if his feelings are split between you and the mother of the child, you rarely win.

Also, if he's acting shady, then there's probably something shady going on. Don't get in any deeper at that point-let them be a family and you move on with your life.

Shaaaye69 · Apr 8, 2011, 10:16 PM

I know how you feel, my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now, he cheated on me 2 months into the relationship, and got another girl pregnant. I didn't find out till 2 months later! I was pissed, but I truly love him, and we are engaged

talaniman · Apr 9, 2011, 11:55 AM

They have a lot of business between them to work out, and you better get out of the way in case it gets messy, and I have no doubt it will.

He has already shown he is less than forthright, upfront, and honest, and that's a VERY BIG RED FLAG, you would be foolish to ignore.

Talk to mom, if you are confused.

adviceishere · Apr 9, 2011, 12:01 PM

The guys have good advice and can I also just add that it takes a special kind of person to be with a guy that's got kids because our children come first no matter what. Personally I would not be able to be with a guy that's got kids from another relationship because frankly I don't want to be second best and I'm not into him being in touch with his ex for life. They are my issues and a lot of other peoples, I'm not a mean person and that's exactly why I choose not to get involved with them. So.. are you ready to be second best and have your guys ex involved in your lives forever?

Fr_Chuck · Apr 9, 2011, 04:38 PM

It all depends, if he has broken up with her, he will still be seeing her all the time, when he goes to pick up the child for visits ( picking up is the key, not visiting at her home)

He will be writing her a check for at least the next 18 years every month.

He will be talking to her on regular basis for over 18 years about sick child, first walk and more.

So are you willing to take this on,

Brownsugar18 · Apr 10, 2011, 06:18 AM

Aww that's sweet am happy for you.. :)

Brownsugar18 · Apr 10, 2011, 06:20 AM

I did all this a ready but I think its best I move on with my life.. thank you for your advice it was helpful... :)

Brownsugar18 · Apr 10, 2011, 06:21 AM

YEs it seems that way to me as well and thank you for you input... my decision is to move on.. :)

amicon · Apr 10, 2011, 07:04 AM

Good luck!

Homegirl 50 · Apr 10, 2011, 12:17 PM

4 months after the end of a relationship and one where there is a pregnancy is really the wrong time to start another one.

The fact that the birth of this child is known by his friends and they are congratulating him, she and him communicating and now he's distant says there is still a relationship maybe on that was not really over.
Let him take care of his family and you move on.
Too many uncertainties here.

Shaaaye69 · Apr 21, 2011, 11:34 AM

Thank you Brownsugar18 :)