[llynnp26]

My BF and I have been together three years. Here's the history, one year living together, my dad gets cancer and coincidentally my BF decides to become a crack head at the same time. Smokes crack, steals my money, gets my truck impounded, and robs me of my chance to say goodbye to my dad. He goes into recovery I forgive him. Fast forward three years later, and he gets mad at my son and I when we don't do things he wants us to do. Take tonight for example, my son't toys were in the living room. He asks my son to pick them up, my son is four, my son is picking them up but is taking is time. My BF then picks up the fire truck and hurls into the bedroom (breaking it). Then says to me "it's MY living room". Shouldn't he be doing everything he can to make up what he did to me years ago? Am I selfish in thinking that? Should I leave him? I don't because my son is not his and he is working hard to put a roof over our heads and pay for my son's day care a preschool. I do work, but minimum wage sucks in my province so what my BF makes helps out a lot.

[justcurious55]

I think if the two of you are going to stay together, you both have a lot to work out.

Are you going to blame him for you not saying goodbye to your dad forever? (I'm not entirely clear how he did so, by the way. What exactly prevented you from going to be with your father instead of with him as a crack head?) if you plan on forever holding that against him, then I think the relationship is already doomed.

And what exactly do you expect him to do to make up for his supposedly ruining that chance to say good bye? You say he's keeping a roof over yours and your son's heads. He's paying for daycare. I would assume if he's paying for those things he's probably also helping you our with things like food, clothes and utilities. So he was a jerk tonight. It's not OK that he was a jerk, he shouldn't have snapped like that. But is he expected to be perfect? Is that how he always behaves? Or was this an isolated incident? Could he maybe be frustrated because he's providing you and your son with so much and you don't seem to appreciate it?

Staying with someone solely for financial reasons is no good.

Ultimately only you can decide what's best for you and your son. And only ou can decide if this guy is worth working through the problems with or not. Again, it sounds like you both have issues to work out

[amicon]

If you both want to save your relationship,I suggest couple's therapy.

There seem to be a number of issues that you've never talked through and resolved.

[talaniman]

You better find a way to talk, during good, or calm times, and resolve some issues that you both have, but I don't think its realistic to expect him to make up with past wrong by being perfect now.

By what you have written, he is trying to be responsible, and if this incident was an isolated flare up, or part of a continuing pattern, only you know that.

Sometimes we let our own resentments, and expectations get a bit unrealistic, but I think you both share in that. But know that former addict may not be using, they still can exhibit the same destructive behavior they had before, and when triggered can be as bad as it was before, but I can't know that for sure he falls into that category, or needs more help, but for sure it's a big red flag when you feel you have to stay in a bad situation because that's all you can afford.

Rethink your options and make a better plan, if communications don't have positive results, in an acceptable amount of time.