[archcelt]

I've been dating this girl for almost 6 months now. She is 22 and I'm 28. We have sex relatively often, but it seems like she doesn't enjoy it the way the other girls I've dated do, and just does it to be connected/placate me. She doesn't really feel pleasure. I have fingered her getting her seemingly a little stimulated, but she laughs a lot and interrupts it or just evades it by having sex with me. In talking to her about it, she told me she never had an orgasm (not with any of her 3 old boyfriends) and never masturbates. She's not even interested in trying to explore her body and it seems like she doesn't even want an orgasm. She did tell me once that she feels like she's going to pee when it happens so I feel like she must have some conception of what its like to get to that point, and from what I hear that's relatively normal to feel like that. What concerns me is that she's not even curious about it, and at age 22, you think she'd have experienced one by herself at least. Nothing I do really puts her in the mood or turns her on, no matter how gentle or assertive I be. When I touch her breasts, neck, nipples she is very ticklish.

I don't know what to do. I know it will take time, and I am more than willing to go slow and do whatever it takes, because I love her, but I fear that she'll never want to have an orgasm and every time I try to tell her what she's missing or show concern for her pleasure, she just says it's not important to her. It makes me sad because I want her to feel the pleasure she deserves and I also want her to look forward to our coupling for more than just reasons of pleasing me.

Does anyone have any insight?

[adviceishere]

Sounds to me like she's a bit shy when it comes to sex and exploring. Either that or she's genuinely not bothered about orgasming, you shouldn't make a big deal about "what she's missing", you will make her feel like a let down, just keep having sex and enjoy it as best as you both can.

[CravenMorhead]

Sometimes Mozilla sucks.

Anyhow, if she is happy with the state of your love life then you can be happy with it. She is, as Adviceishere suggests, very shy about herself and her sexuality.

Chances are that she does Masturbate, but if she does it is something that she will NEVER admit to anyone. Even If they're married for 20 years.

I think, though, that if you stick around and accept what is going on, then she will become more comfortable with you and it might be a little heated on her end. The ticklish response is usually due to nerves or anxiety. Don't guilt her into anything, just honestly be there and do what she is willing to do. It will come in time I suspect. No pun intended.

Also realize that there are women out there that can't orgasm, or find it extremely difficult to orgasm. She might be one of these people. Also, with sex, orgasm is not the end goal because if you get to focused on her getting off then you will miss a lot of the fun parts of sex. You will miss the journey for the destination. Just prepared to help her along the road if she asks.

That is about the best advice I can offer, save for don't guilt her or make her feel less because she can't get off. Make sure she enjoys herself but don't put her on the spot because she can't get off.

[southamerica]

You should just continue being thoughtful and enjoying sex for the pleasure it gives you. As long as she's not opening up to you about her desires and what makes her feel good-you won't be able to help her reach climax. For some women, reaching climax takes all the mind power and concentration the woman can muster. She needs to come into that desire on her own.

Bringing your girlfriend to orgasm is not what makes one a great boyfriend, so as long as you're being a great boyfriend, I say just be patient and enjoy yourself :)

[martinizing2]

You both are still young.

Many women do not orgasm until they reach mid twenties or later.
She does sound a bit immature about it and may come around as she matures.

If you haven't tried a vibrator , and she is up for it I wholeheartedly advise trying one or two of these little gems.