[lilmizsara]

- does a person have to have lots of foreplay experience before to know what he's doing?

I was feeling insecure recently and asking my boyfriend if he ever compares the foreplay we do to the one with his ex. He said there's nothing to compare as ours is different, its based on love, and we both Know and Understand what we are doing.

He said he regretted his with his first ex cause they didn't love each other, it was in the heat of the moment and both didn't know what they were doing, and he felt very very sinful and guilty for not keeping to his values when they almost had sex. The girl initiated these things.

He only has that one experience with a girl, although he said their foreplay was based on whenever there's a feeling. I have two questions:

1) why would any man regret foreplay with a girl? Wrong girl, or just a plain bad experience? Since both didn't know what they were doing..

2) are there any signs a man is very experienced at foreplay? What would make him look like a pro? My boyfriend just knows the usual erogenous zones on a girl, but err that's all. A few times at the beginning he pinched me up there too hard, and once when he was stimulating me down below - just rubbing - he was really rough and there was a lot of pain, he only touches me there if I'm wearing underwear. Usually he just kisses me ard my jaw or just my mouth and just strokes my body.. does all these indicate lots of experience?

sorry if I was too detailed!

[lilmizsara]

By the way, all the stuff he done with his ex was 8-9 yrs ago! Cld he have learnt something in between?

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, he learned that you don't really talk and compare lovers, and even if he does, he does not admit it, since if you feel or think he does, you will always be comparing or wanting to know.

He is right, each person and each relationship is different. He may learn, from experience, but what and how you and he does things are not the same as perhaps, A couple have to learn each other and what the other enjoys, Not just doing what was great with someone else.

Your boyfriend is very wise, and you need to leave it alone and just look to enjoy or improve what you have. Not start bringing ex's into it.

If you start wondering about all his ex's, and where he learned this or that, you will take the enjoyment out of it, with worry.

Next you mean you would never regret making a sexual mistake, if you had sex way to early in your life, and he left you shortly after, you would not latter regret it. I would worry somewhat about a person who could or would have no regrets in past relationships.

Why do you care, if he is a pro or if it learned it all off YOUTUBE,

I would say you are starting down a path of questioning him, how he knows things, and comparing, all of these can easily and quickly chase off a boyfriend when they get tired of being questioned, or feel accused

[lilmizsara]

Thank you:) hmm I really Don't want to qn him cause I don't want to know haha. I just don't know how to control my thoughts sometimes.. really. I need help on that one. Lol. Believe me, he made some blunders very early on in the relationship cause he kept talking about his stuff with his exes and I got hela annoyed. He said that he wanted to be honest, that's all. And so I trust him when he says he doesn't compare. He's not someone who lies very well.

[talaniman]

Pro or not, experienced or not. Its up to the partners to communicate to each other what brings pleasure, and what does not.

You seem to be so worried about this guy from what you have written here and your other post.

What is it that you are really afraid of that has you concerned and insecure?

[lilmizsara]

Don't think I want to say the specifics publicly. But all in all, I'm not sure if I want to be with him for a long time that's all.