[Homegirl 50]

Just because you have a bond with a person, that does not mean you are compatible for a relationship, which your relationship with this woman proves.
This is drama and dysfunction. I don't understand why you two are still together unless you are addicted to it or you don't think you can do better.

[Pboy87]

Well.. we don't think we can get a bond like this with anyone else... as we hadn't got it ever before in the past.. we are compatible on all counts.. except her past.. she has no issues with mine... though it isn't like hers.. but I was getting over her past as well as those people weren't around her... but suddenly this whole drama started last week with that message and her regret for not being able to help the friend and the care for him... and that's why this fight.. otherwise all was smooth..
And we are kind of addicted to each other...

[Homegirl 50]

It is not smooth, as you have been posting here about it for months.
An addiction to each other is not indicative of a healthy relationship.
You obviously don't want to give this up so my guess is you will continue to play this game until one of you wises up and gets tired of it.
It is hard to help a person who does not truly want help, who only wants help with clinging to their addiction.

[tickle]

An addiction to each other is not indicative of a healthy relationship.

It is also dangerous on some levels. Just like an addiction to a substance is. Two people in a relationship like this should not be together. Yes, I agree, very unhealthy.

The length of this post, with the waffling back and forth is also indicative of a person who can't make his own decision to move on to greener pastures.

Tick

[amicon]

it is also dangerous on some levels. Just like an addiction to a substance is. Two people in a relationship like this should not be together. Yes, i agree, very unhealthy.

The length of this post, with the waffling back and forth is also indicative of a person who can't make his own decision to move on to greener pastures.

tick

Agreed,it's a toxic mess.

[Pboy87]

Hmmmmmmm..
But other than this sexual past thing and her clinging onto it... she is one of the best girls I have met... caring... loving.. and it is rare to find someone who can give up things for you right?
Its just that we got off to a not so proper start.. as in.. I liked her and was infatuated and she wanted to take everything very slow with me and considered me more like someone she had a crush on.. she first wanted to have a fling with me because apparently my family status and rep. is kind of known and she just wanted to be a girl who dated a guy from this this family.(she told me this after she fell for me).. but started liking me more as a friend as we got to know each other (we were at a point when we both wondered if we should continue dating as we have this awesome friendship and didn't want to ruin it) and so she kept talking about her past.. and her stories.. so that I get to know all about her.. as she did with all her good friends.. to share it.. so that I get to know her more as a friend.. but it just made me cringe..
Anyway,she has changed her whole life style for me.. so that's why I was wondering giving her another shot.. but I'm just to 'blah' about it right now to take any decision because of her past and care again in the way.. So maybe I'll take time out and take a break... and then maybe get back.. what say?

[Pboy87]

I didn't understand. ' two people like this? '.. can u please explain? Thanks...

[tickle]

Pboy, I didn't say 'two people like this'. I said two people In a relationship like this..... Can you understand it now ?

Tick


Pboy, since November 2010 all of the experts here, some not experts but really great at giving good sound relationship advice have given it and you don't seem to get that you have probably bleed us all out regarding your inability to come to grips with the problem you are having with your s/o.

I see it this way; either stay with her and suffer until you can't take anymore, or move on, find someone else, move out of the country, go on a vacation but you have to absolutely give yourself distance from all of the mindfreakout.

Tick

[Homegirl 50]

She gives up things for you, you can't stand her past, you have been back and forth with this for months, you two have not even been together that long. This a mess.
Why would anybody have to give up things for a person they have only known a short time? And if you can't stand who she was why are you still there?
I think you are both desperate people trying to cling to something neither of you likes.
Take a break from all of this drama. You might find you both will be OK.

[ITstudent2006]

This is going to be the most harsh post on this thread yet.

Grow the hell up. People have pasts and in NO WAY need to justify their past sexual encounters with present and/or future s/o's. You sound controlling and so desperate to belong that you're continuing this pointless thread because you don't want to stop talking about it.

You have received excellent advice for months now and you're too (pardon me) stupid to listen. I usually don't get this upset but at this point I am sick of seeng this thread pop up on my notifications. Get a life, drop this girl, and move on. Plain and simple.

P.S. I will be requesting this thread be closed. This is no longer relevant and is just a rambling attempt by the OP to continue to stand in the light.

[Curlyben]

This is going no where, so