[limegreenhippo]

I love my boyfriend to death he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but we have some major issues and I don't know what to do about them. Ever since we started dating we have spent almost every day together, but about 2 months into our relationship he want to jail and both of us at the time were using a lot of drugs. I got really high on ecstacy while he was gone, and I cheated on him with another guy.

It was the worst mistake of my life, and I regret it more then anything. Even at the time I didn't want to do it, it just sort of happened because I was really high. Both of us are now cleaning up our lives and we are both 9 months clean off drugs, and I would never do anything like that again, ever, but obviously we have major trust issues because of it.

We have been going out for about a year and a half now, and this is still an issue. I don't blame him whatsoever for this effecting him.. I just don't know what to do about it. For the past few months we have been fighting almost constantly, and we still see each other daily. We are spending way too much time together and we are both getting sick of each other.. but if I go hang out with other friends of mine he worries that I am going to cheat on him again. It doesn't make it any better that 90% of my friends are guys. I thought that it would pass over time, and it has faded a lot, but problem is still there and I'm starting to think that it will never go away, it have been over a year.

Another problem that we have is that he still smokes weed, and I don't any more. I don't like him smoking weed around me because it makes me want to do drugs, and I ask him not to.. but he get really pissed off when we are around people that are smoking weed because he says that I am "controlling him".. this again leads to fights and both of us get really irritable with each other. He also thinks that I am controlling because I don't like him going to partys and getting drunk without me.. I deal with it and try not to get mad about it.. but he still gets pissed off because it bothers me. I

Love him so much.. and I don't want stupid things like this to end us, but it looks like its going in that direction. I really need advice on how to fix this.. I have tried so much and nothing works.. we still fight constantly and we are always at eachothers throats. Please help.

[amicon]

You are a recovering addict and he is still not off all the drugs.

Neither of you should be in a relationship,that's the hard truth.

Potsmokers often suffer from paranoia and the drinking isn't helping .

Do you still drink?

You shouldn't if you have an addictive personality.
I suggest you get some therapy,if you're not already seeing a councilor.

[talaniman]

Well so much for clean sober living, and that's the root of the problem. He has settled for a drug of choice and friends who are like it, and you want a drug free life.

Choose, drug free, or a dope for a partner. He won't change unless he wants to.

You both need a break before you end up hating, and resenting each other. A long break. You of all people should know that the dope you have overcome, still has him in another world, and that will never work.

[Edy020]

If he is still smoking weed, and drinking, and you are not, how long do you think it will take for him to go back to doing the other stuff? Everyone says they are done with this or that. The simple straight answer is, you either do drugs, or you don't. Eventually you will also start to do drugs because you did it before, and because maybe if you smoked a little weed you would be more chill. Those are the reasons that everyone goes back to drugs. I am sorry to say that you need to distance yourself from him, and anyone else who is doing drugs. I know that is hard, but you have to think about yourself first. You have to value your life enough to stop worrying about him, and start thinking about what you want. You will get exactly what you settle for.