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    confz's Avatar
    confz Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 13, 2011, 12:37 AM
    Confusing feeling
    I broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago (5 month relationship), lets say girl X. Before I dated her, I was talking with another girl (girl Y), which, as I had been told by some friends while dated X, liked me and probably wanted to try something out. (I didn't up with X because of Y though). So, I'm very happy the way I am now, living my life, going out with friends to some parties etc, and I recently included in my circle of friends a guy which is a very good friend of mine. He has been hitting on Y a lot lately, and I don't like that, although I don't want to have anything with Y. I've been talking to her since I ended up with X, because I just want to become really good friends with her, but no second intentions.
    I made a mistake with X, because I started dating her for "the funz of it", when probably I could have dated Y with a serious relationship.
    1 - Do you think Y may still be kind of mad because I chose X over her, when I was closer to her than to X ?
    2- I included my friend in my circle of friends because I was feeling him a bit depressed and wanted to help him. Think I should talk to him because of this Y girl ?
    3 - Why don't I like to see them together (my friend and Y), even though I don't want to have anything serious with this Y girl? Please help me understand this.
    Thank you very much for your time and answers.

    we're all 20 by the way
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Mar 13, 2011, 12:53 AM

    Y is single,your friend is single,why would you mind,as you say you don't want to be with Y?
    Or do you,only you don't really want to admit that to yourself?

    As for talking to your friend about Y,I think he is old enough to make his own decisions about what he does.

    Nobody but Y can tell you how she felt about your getting together with X so if you want to know-ask her.
    confz's Avatar
    confz Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 13, 2011, 07:37 AM
    Comment on amicon's post
    Is it possible for me to mind about my friend and Y being together, because I have feelings for Y that I haven't found out yet ?
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #4

    Mar 13, 2011, 08:05 AM

    That would be my guess.
    Any strong reaction means emotional involvement.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 13, 2011, 09:40 AM

    You are jealous over what ifs. Drop it, and let those feelings go without acting on them. Coping with your own feelings and doing the right thing is what's important.
    confz's Avatar
    confz Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Mar 16, 2011, 08:53 PM
    Congratz?
    Threads merged


    After I broke up with my ex, we have been in no contact at all. And her birthday is coming up in a few days and I don't know if I should say something to her or not. We had a tough breakup, huge fight that day, but its still her birthday and I don't want to be rude, though also don't want to break the NC rule. What do you think?
    confusedclover's Avatar
    confusedclover Posts: 13, Reputation: -3
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    #7

    Mar 16, 2011, 09:19 PM
    Do you want to get back together with her? If the answer is yes, then say something. Getting back in contact with her will bring back emotions with at least one of you. If its not both it will cause drama and a mess
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #8

    Mar 17, 2011, 01:38 AM

    Sorry,but breaking NC won't do you any favours.

    Not remembering an ex's birthday's not rude,it's part of your coping strategy.
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