[Putsil]

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for just about 13 months now. The first few months were great and everything was going amazing! The past few months though things have been kind of rough. We would always argue over the stupidest stuff and get into fights over it. It was always little things I would do. Me and her only hang out with each other and are always talking or texting when we're not with each other. I will always be accused of looking at or thinking of other girls! I don't even talk to other girls at all but I still get accused! I don't know why! And this past few weeks she has been threatening to leave me. She says I do all these things that bug her and are stupid of me. I sat down and made a list of what I need to change and I've been trying so hard to change these things! I believe I'm making progress and doing some of these things less often, but she insists I'm not and says you're not changing so I'm leaving. And I have to beg her to stay and I tell her I'm changing and I'm stepping it up! I always am the one to text her first and tell her I love her and I miss her and how beautiful she is! I never ever swear at her or put her down but she is constantly swearing and putting me down when she gets mad over these little things. And now the other night she said I never go above and beyond. And she said money doesn't matter because I brought up the fact that I'd take her to a concert but she doesn't let me! She says no save your money. So she says it doesn't have to be spendy it's just about your actions and words. I understand that but I always tell her I love her and I can't stand losing her and she's my whole life, etc etc. I don't know what else she means by going above and beyond. I truly am in love with her and I can't stand losing her! She is my life and my world. What should I do? How do I go above and beyond? Oh yeah and she said I do cute things but she wants romantic. How do I break the barrier of cute and move to romantic and incorporate going above and beyond with my words and actions? Thanks for the help! I really appreciate it!

[adviceishere]

I'm sure you were the same person you were back 13months ago and this is who she chose to be with, she can't just go changing you now, you are who you are, to be honest I don't think this woman deserves you!

You are going above and beyond! You love her, you tell her nice things, you treat her with respect, you buy her things what more could a girl want! You Don't need to change and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, if she can't except you for you then you've got a tough choice to make, I'm sure any other woman would appriciate having a good man like yourself in their lives, she needs to open her eyes and realize what she's got...

Oh and you sat down and made a list of all your faults! Talk about ruining your self-esteem! Tell her were to stick your list and don't let anyone treat you this way...

[redhed35]

You sound like a great boyfriend without lifting another finger without getting something back from her! Like a little respect.

What's she's doing other then making demands? To show you with her words and actions that she loves you?

She's walking all over you, how do you show her you can love, by loving yourself first, by putting a stop to her childish demands.

As I said you sound like a very attentive sensitive boyfriend that a lot of girls would love to love and respect.

Talk to her, tell her you can't do any more, that your not going to jump through any more hoops, if she has a tantrum,let her go.

[Wondergirl]

We would always argue over the stupidest stuff and get into fights over it. It was always little things I would do.

I'll bet she brought it up each time and created the fight. Right?

Me and her only hang out with each other and are always talking or texting when we're not with each other.

Big mistake there. Please expand your world to include others. Your relationship will not survive long if it's on an island with only the two of you sitting on the beach.

I will always be accused of looking at or thinking of other girls! I don't even talk to other girls at all but I still get accused!

Think about it. Why would she accuse you if you aren't doing it?

And this past few weeks she has been threatening to leave me.

You aren't good enough for her? Or is she prepping you for the big breakup news?

She says I do all these things that bug her and are stupid of me.

She needs a reason to split, and it can't be she's who's at fault. That leaves only you.

I always am the one to text her first and tell her I love her and I miss her and how beautiful she is!

Why doesn't she return the favor? That's what people in love do.

she is constantly swearing and putting me down when she gets mad over these little things. And now the other night she said I never go above and beyond.

It's all your fault apparently.

I'd take her to a concert but she doesn't let me!

Of course she won't! That would look like you're doing something right.

Oh yeah and she said I do cute things but she wants romantic.

And once you do romantic, it won't be often enough or it won't be quite right somehow.

How do I break the barrier of cute and move to romantic and incorporate going above and beyond with my words and actions?

Did you ever think to yourself, "Hey, wait a minute! I'm okay. What's wrong with her?? "

[Putsil]

One thing she also says is she hears the same thing over and over again. I know I say some of the same lines a lot but does it really matter that much?

[Putsil]

But just the thought of letting her go makes me break down! It's such a hard and horrible thought to me! And a lot of girls would love to love and respect me but I don't want other girls! I want my girlfriend!

[adviceishere]

The reason why the thoughts of breaking up hurts you so much is because the both of you are isolated from real life, start getting out there and make your own friends, once you get a taste of that and a new socail life it will be Adios Ameigo to her.

[talaniman]

What a wimp you are! Taking that kind of crap from someone you will never please is pure insane, and she does it because you let her.

Pack her bags, put them by the front door, and tell her to shut the hell up with all that stupid bit**ing, or get the hell out. You have had enough.

Hopefully she will LEAVE!! Sorry guy, what your doing ain't love, it ain't healthy, nor will it last. You are a very willing slave that allows you to be mistreated, abused, and unappreciated.

[Putsil]

I just can't see myself living life without her! She's a senior and I'm a sophomore so she's going off to college next year and we told each other we wouldn't be that couple that gives up! I love her and I don't want to leave her or lose her!

[talaniman]

Then do what she tells you, and quit whining you young wimp. When is your birthday so I can send you a fancy collar.

Oh no worries, she will get to college, and meet real men, but she may still talk to you if she has time.

First girl friend, or the first one to give you attention, or sex, or all the above?

[Wondergirl]

Comment from Putsil
I just can't see myself living life without her! She's a senior and i'm a sophomore so she's going off to college next year and we told each other we wouldn't be that couple that gives up! I love her and i don't want to leave her or lose her!

You do realize she will ask for a "break" when she is ready to leave for college (if not before). There is no way she, who constantly disrespects you now, will want to continue a relationship with a guy two years younger and living back home. She's going to a place where there are many interesting and handsome young men ready and willing to ask her out. There's no way she will pass up those opportunities.

[amicon]

She's an insulting controlfreak and what she's doing is emotional abuse.

The only reason you should ever change in life is for yourself,not because another person demands it.

Don't be her puppy dog,find your backbone and tell her to go find another 'slave'.

[slapshot_oi]

Bruno Mars wrote Grenade for you my friend.

Don't be a fool, she's treating you like dirt.