[butterlicious]

I am currently a 29 year old woman and I can really see myself involved with this 20 year old man. Its feel kind of weird to me because I'm used to being with older men. He is very mature and is actually far more intelligent than the older men that I have been with. I need some help because I am very experienced but some time everyone needs help...

[talaniman]

How long have you known him? Initial attraction are intense at any age, but over time, lust fades, and love grows. How much it grows is up to the willingness of the couple to adjust from the love feelings, to the love for working together to build something solid and reliable.

[adviceishere]

You say he's mature and intelligent, you like him, so ask him out, it might work out, it might not, only one way to find out. The age gap might feel awkward or embarrassing at first depending on what way you feel about it but if you ever fell in love with him and you were happy it would be irrelvent.

[Jake2008]

9 years doesn't seem like such a big age difference at 30 and 39, or 50 and 59, but, in my opinion 20 is very young to be involved with a 29 year old.

There is a lot of change, growth, and development for someone just out of their teens by a year, still to come. At that age, little of life has been experienced, except perhaps a year at college, or a history of part time jobs while recently in high school. Careers haven't happened, independence hasn't happened, they are too young yet for the most part to take care of themselves, having had a recent past being taken care of by mom and dad.

Nine years from now, they mature, and have matured a lot from when they were 20. They've likely finished college, are self supporting, have goals, perhaps been in a few long term serious relationships, maybe even have settled down and have had a child. I don't see or think of a 20 year old as being settled down, taking on the responsibilities of someone almost 10 years his senior.

Unless this 20 year old is unusually mature for his age, and has reached life goals and experienced more than what most would have at his age, he may seem mature, but he has a long way to go.

Just my opinion of course, and I could be all wrong, but I think he's too young to be capable of being in a serious relationship with an someone almost a decade older. If you were to have asked your question and he were 30 and you were 39, I'd say there is a much greater chance of success.

[pandead]

I can tell the chances are slim because I tried, and I believed in it too. No matter how mature he is (unless, as Jake said he has an incredible life experience) it will bother him at some point to be with you.

For my part, my younger boyfriend who wasn't really interested in going out or drinking found out he liked partying, hitting on girls and cheating on me with them after 2 years or "adult life" with me. I don't blame him for that, everyone should experience these things, I had the best of my college years so why wouldn't he?

I always wanted someone with not much baggage but the life baggage teaches us how to deal with the future. Now I am with someone who is my age, who had fun in every way when he was in his early twenties, and who is ready to be in an adult relationship. No regrets.

I wish you good luck and hope you are the exception, but if you keep him from having a normal 20 year old's life, the boomerang will hit you at some point so be careful.

[mmresd]

Take a leap of faith and get with him, enjoy it while it lasts. If everything goes well you have earned something. If things crumble, then you will be at the same place you are now with even a little more experience, so nothing is lost. Anything is worth a try ;)

Good luck,

Javi