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Gigi0628 · Feb 27, 2011, 09:38 PM

I am 37 married 3 times he has been married twice and has two kids. We have been together a year and a half and play house until his kids are over then I leave and go home. Should I continue to be patient are we meant to be

Wondergirl · Feb 27, 2011, 09:55 PM

Have you talked about marriage? Have you interacted with his children at all? If not, why not?

Gigi0628 · Feb 27, 2011, 10:39 PM

Well marriage has come up one time. He pays his ex wife 1600 bucks a month and gives her money anytime she asks for anything she wants, I'm not sure I want to marry and support her too. Support the kids sure but her too? Get a job any way I am with his kids every weekend just don't spend the night he doesn't want his kids to be cofused yet his ex lives with her boyfriend in my mans house. We are looking to buy a home now but recently discovered she has 20000 dollars in credit card debt in his name that she got without his knowledge and without a job she can't take his name off and we can't buy. I just question if I am being irrational in wanting at least to share a home if I'm going to go about a normal wives responsibilits. If he can't commit in some way is it worth my time? I want a family again one day.

Wondergirl · Feb 27, 2011, 10:54 PM

In light of the additional information you provided, I'm wondering why you would want to marry a man so much in debt (via his ex) and so involved in her lifestyle.

It sounds like you will never be anything other than a housemate/playmate who chips in money every week to support everyone but yourself. I'm thinking there's a better deal out there somewhere for you. Aren't you worth more than this (whatever it is -- not much)?

vanheart · Feb 28, 2011, 12:50 AM

Let me get this straight.

His ex & her boyfriend live in his house & he's paying for her? As she's soaking him for more $?

You are with the wrong guy.

He needs to unload his baggage before he can truly commit. That's BS. Hes letting this all happen.

Sounds like you have already been patient enough. You must have known all of this before you got involved anyway. It isn't going to end anytime soon.

Hes so worried about his kids being confused, I don't believe that. Sounds like his ex still runs his life.

You have to decide if this mess is worth sticking around for.

Playing house is for children. He has no respect for you. If he did he would man up & stop the madness.

Think twice. Or 3 times. You need a solid guy, not a wuss.

This is for him to fix, not you.

I say run now, or you're going to waste more precious years on the wrong person.

Gigi0628 · Feb 28, 2011, 01:05 AM

Wow thanks for the response I am worth more than what he is giving me... he might treat me very well however I do believe I deserve more respect than he is undoubtably ready to give. I'm going back to college and I don't have time for the added stress. Maybe it's time I got out and bought my own house I don't have that kind of debt and along with his ex being so involved in his daily life I don't want it. I guess a new start will be a great gift to myself. I deserve that

vanheart · Feb 28, 2011, 01:25 AM

I agree. After all, you are #1.

You owe it to yourself to be aware & discretionary. Especially when it comes to partners. Use your gut.

Be free. Don't rush. There's no reason to take on someone else's crap. For the wrong reasons.

There's lots of cool people out there. Ones that have themselves together. And can appreciate what you can offer.
And vis-versa.

Good luck...