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grandmalee · Jan 7, 2010, 06:11 AM

Help am I having a break down? As I said previously I have been married 37yrs. I can't get this feeling that my husband is having an affair while at work. I have prayed constantly for confermation of my feelings or to give me peace if it is all in my head. This has been going on for 8 months now. As I said before he is a local truck driver. He goes to various gas stations in town. His law book matches hours he left and got home. There is no money missing from bank or credit cards. Here is the problem. HE HAS company cell phone vthat he dose not bring home I believe that he is having an emotional affair by phone. I have asked him if he is of course he says no. I also believe that he pays for over usage on cell with he allowance. He is not nor has he ever been one to show his affection to me or our children or grandchildren. Where it never bothered me before it does now. I have told him that I need to feel his love and affection. His response is he is what he is. He never goes any where w/o me. We are going on a weekend trip next week plus going on a 4 day cruse in may. I need help with this before I ruin everything. I have thought that although I have lived like this for many years and love him with all my heart that maybe it is me that wantsout. I am so confused. He gives me everything I want except his affection. HELP ME WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY MARRIAGE

Metalhead11592 · Jan 7, 2010, 06:40 AM

Hey Grandmalee,
Can you clarify some questions I have about your question so I or anyone else can better answer you. Had your husband always acted like this since you were first married. If so why are you expecting anything different from the man you married those 37 years ago. I think that he loves you and has affection for you, but he is stubborn about showing it. If he didn't love you and didn't have affection for you he wouldn't be married to you for 37 years! That's a huge portion of your life and maybe the best years of your life you spent with the man you love. If you feel like he isn't expressing his love for you the right way, have you considered couples therapy? Also think about it he wouldn't be going on a trip with you and a cruise if he didn't want to spend time with you. I was adopted into a tough german family, everything and everyone was tough on me but this is how I grew strong, I'm only 17 years old but my intelegence and wisdom is far exceeding my age group. I think that maybe it could just be your husbands mentality that is something that he has dealth with his entire life.

MyEarsRHurting · Feb 24, 2011, 05:49 AM

Hi Grandmalee,
Sometimes People Do Get A Bit Causous. Maybe You Just Need A Little Break, Like A Little "You" Time. Go Out With Your Mates On A Holiday, Have Fun!

And Sometimes People Do Drift Apart, But That's Just How People Work.
37 Years Is Quite A Long Time. Of Course You Don't Want To Leave Him, But Don't You Think Part Of You Is Saying "I Love This Man" And The Other Part Is Saying "Is This Really What I Want?"

You Just Have A REALLY Good Think About Things. Maybe You Will Make Your Mind Up :)