[calibuddz024]

Well, we've been dating for almost 4 years and its great. I love him and I know he loves me but there are a good amount of things that make me nervous about him covering something up. For starters for a good three months or so about a year ago he wouldn't want to have sex with me always saying he was so tired.

This has changed now we both want to have sex with each other and its pretty mutual in who declares they want to have sex. He does other things though which make me nervous like one time he was completely blacked out and his brother was trying to move him off the ground and he tried to kiss him! I don't know if he thought it was me or what but we all laughed it off and pretty much forgot about it the next morning.

Other times when he gets drunk he'll always grab our guy friends nipples and even grind a little bit on them which I personally think is so weird. I also was downloading movies on his computer and was in his library and found transsexual porn were the girls with ****s are ****ing the guys.
Total turn off for me, but I brushed it off.

He also recently has been asking me to finger him? Which I would do it for him but now its got me thinking of all these coincidences that just keep adding up about him maybe being gay or bi. I'm not against it but I would like to know the truth. I know he loves me and I know he loves me a lot as I feel the same but it still has me weirded out.

I believe people are entitled to feel and love how they wish and I would never be against gay and bi sexual people, but I'm not for it when the man I'm trying to start a life with may leave me for a man. Also, I would like to add that besides these things he doesn't act gay at all. He looks at regular porn and stuff, checks out women, doesn't care how he dresses, he's going to school to be a mechanic, but all the past things have still left me wondering. Can anyone else wrap there mind around this?

[joypulv]

If he dumped you, would it really matter whether it was male or female?
As for drunken behavior, you really do have to erase that from your list of what makes you wonder.
As for the rest, it just doesn't add up to anything definitive.
Not everyone is 100% straight or gay. He could be curious, 'titillated,' or anywhere on the spectrum all the way to considering being gay or trans or bi or who knows. Many straight people just love flirting with gay people.
It all boils down to talking to him. Broach the subject in an offhand way, and say you are just wondering, it won't mean you would leave.
For a gay person growing up with 2 straight parents, it is sometimes preferable to maintain a straight relationship, or they may be afraid of aids, or they may want children with a woman. They can still be gay deep down. There are may shades of gay and straight.

[talaniman]

I don't know how he defines himself, but HE is the only one who can put your fears to rest. You know he loves you, so don't be afraid to ask him how he feels.

If you can finger him, then you should be able to talk to him, but hardly anyone that's human fits into preconceived notions of what's gay, or straight. And I wouldn't put a lot of thought into his drunken behavior, as you would really trip with the locker room behavior of sober guys, after work/gym, gay or straight.

[mmresd]

Sorry, but to me this was comical in some ways. A little crazy... But hey, if he is asking for something in the bedroom and you are willing try it. Maybe he is just trying to experience things. Is he a Gemini? If he is going to leave you it doesn't really matter if it is with a male or female. It seems like he is a little crazy, which is fine for the most part as long as things don't spiral out of control. If you are sure that you both love each other then just try to enjoy things that he is wanting to try with you, in the end it will always be a fun, and equally weird memory. ;)

Good luck,

Javi