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heather92106 · Feb 18, 2011, 08:55 AM

My son was taken from me in June of 2010. His father and I split up and my son and I were living with my dad. DSS came around one day and told me that there were alligations of me using drugs and abusing my son. When we had a meeting with my lawyer and dss I admitted to using some narcotic pain killers and they placed him with my dad until I completed a drug program (LRADAC). I also had to complete classes at sistercare. I got a call from my case worker today telling me that the permanate custody of my son will be given to my dad. Do I have any chance at getting him back? I am still in sistercare and I am restarting lradac next Tuesday. There has to be something I can do. I've passed every drug test I have taken and I visit him regularly. I have been clean from any drugs since June when they took him from me.

JudyKayTee · Feb 18, 2011, 08:56 AM

Have you done EVERYTHING you were ordered to do when he was taken? You say you are "restarting" the drug program - did you drop out?

Yes, you can retain an Attorney and fight for your child but it appears that you did not meet the imposed conditions and have permanently lost custody.

heather92106 · Feb 18, 2011, 09:31 AM

Yes I did drop out. I was very sick for a while. I don't have insurance so I couldn't go to the doctor. I can't even afford the program. So far they have charged me $1,336.00. But I talked to the counselour at the drug program and she said it will be a max of 8 weeks. As long as I keep doing what I'm supposed to do, if it makes it to court before I complete the program I have a chance to appeal to the courts. & I was also curious, when DSS drops the case would it be possible for my dad to give me custody of him?

JudyKayTee · Feb 19, 2011, 08:30 AM

If your son is being permanently placed with your father that is, indeed, a PERMANENT PLACEMENT and cannot be reversed.

The State does not want you to raise this child and will do anything/everything it can do to keep the child out of your household.

The Court will take the position that you knew what it would take to regain custody and you didn't do it. The Court will call little if you were sick, had no money, had no insurance, simply didn't bother to go to the program.

If you were told that custody WILL be given (not COULD be given) I would believe them.

Sorry to be harsh but you knew what had to be done and you didn't do it - for whatever reason.

Jake2008 · Feb 19, 2011, 08:37 AM

For this to have gone from temporary custody (your father, via your lawyer and DSS), to eventually becoming permanent custody, there is much prior, and much after these decisions, that have caused this to happen in the first place.

If your addiction was to pain killers, and treatment failed, that would have one of the basic expectations required for you to gain custody back, before this situation became permanently out of your control.

I presume if you've relapsed, either back into drugs, or into a lifestyle that isn't productive, or that doesn't indicate a good environment for your children, that too is all part of the same parcel. Being clean is only one part of the process.

Had you done everything expected of you, steps would naturally follow, that you were aware of, that would result in you having regained custody of your children.

When it gets to a point where you keep proving that the decision was a correct one in removing the children from your custody (by not doing the required work to get them back), it only makes this harder.

I would advise you to speak to your lawyer, and go over the requirements of the temporary arrangement, before it becomes permanent. See if there aren't any ways that you can prove yourself to be fit, or to gain more time in order to do so.

I think it is sad, but the truth is, you probably already know that you have not met basic requirements, and it will be very hard to turn the tide now.

GTgirl · Feb 20, 2011, 04:24 PM

Obtain counsel and good luck.

J_9 · Feb 20, 2011, 06:57 PM

{moved from Children to Family Law}

Fr_Chuck · Feb 20, 2011, 07:42 PM

There will of course have to be a hearing, and your best luck will be to get it postponed to see you complete the program this time.

DSS and the court will view that you merely did not care enough for your child to finish the program.
You made choices and now have to pay the price of the choices you made.

heather92106 · Feb 20, 2011, 08:06 PM

When I spoke to my case worker, she told me that if I signed the papers that things would remain the same, I would have supervised visitation and that once I completeted the programs that I could petition the courts to obtain custody. Or that I could go in front of the judge and ask him for more time. Which is what I will do.

heather92106 · Feb 20, 2011, 08:07 PM

Answer this for me, I've passed 26 drug tests, never failed one. Missed two classes. I have never relapsed, and I visit my child regularly. What part of that says I'm not fit?

heather92106 · Feb 20, 2011, 08:11 PM

I have spoken to my case worker and she advised me that if I agreed to sign the papers that everything would remain the same (supervised visitation with my father). And that once I completed my programs that I could petition the courts to obtain custody of my child. Or I could go in front of the judge and ask for more time. Either way, this is not the end. Now, the choices that I have made, clearly DO NOT show that I do not care for my child. I have taken 26 drug tests and passed every one of them. So for you to say to me 'you made choiced and now have to pay the price' what for missing two classes? One for having no breaks on my car and no way to get there and the other for being very sick? Clearly you've never been through this. You can not relate to what it is that I'm going through.