[jonanthony]

I looking for attny next week: I filed last Jan for divorce,had 50/50 custody since June. Now wife filed TRO over one reply email I sent her and one text message I sent her period.
NONE of the wording was threating, only my opinon she was sleeping with married men and the text message I sent sarcastically for her to "please dont call me again from hotel rooms..." yes poorly worded on my part HOWEVER.I only replied to her high volume of emails over a 3 day period when I had our son for the holidays. I did the reply Pro per and filed a lenghty response but I messed up the cross examination and was not aware of the custody issues & fact I now cannot go to sons school events next 5 yrs if she's within 100 yrds. I did speak to a few paralegals and all thought as I did no way it would be ordered. Just a week old on the order. Is it possible to modify, or re challenge the order for Perm restraining order in less than the 4 yrs I read about, with OSC move or challenge to another court? If there's a time element possibe on modifications so I can attend my kids school meetings, parent conferences, football games or summer soccer games SHE might be at? Legal things not specifically noted in the order to stay 100 yards away but that's really what in real life it means since she most likely will next try to get me arrested for showing up at my kids school when she's there at the same time. I also work in the same area for 11 yrs so how to keep away from her at my church, grocery store was not even talked about after the shocking ruling.

[GV70]

Have a look here:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/family...rs-499600.html

[GV70]

There are four kinds of restraining orders in Ca/ if I am not mistaken/:
1 Domestic Violence Restraining Order,
2 Civil Harassment Restraining Order,
3 Elder or Dependent Adult Abuse Restraining Order, and
4 Workplace Violence Restraining Order.
My guess it was a Domestic Violence RO,There is no limit on the number of years it can last. The order can be permanent or for a period.
Honestly,I cannot imagine how one text message may lead to permanent restraining order.

I I did the reply Pro per and filed a lenghty response but I messed up the cross examination and was not aware of the custody issues & fact I now cannot go to sons school events next 5 yrs if shes within 100 yrds.

I do not know how and what you messed up but I can see the result of it.
You also have a right to appeal the judge's decision. Contact an experienced restraining order attorney to thoroughly discuss your options at this time.

[jonanthony]

So were on same page: Yes #1 Civil D.V. under CA family Sec3044. 5 yrs PERM not a TRO,no prior history of real DV in 19 yrs. We both had stipulated off other prior TRO's last Spring in file but never ruled upon. Her attny used that past TRO judge never ruled on in combo w/Dec's 1 email and 1 text to wife to show pattern. Old TRO was also only on emails and phone calls about her infidelity, No threats no face to face arguments. In Dec she baited me with multiple emails, text & I took the bait stupidly. Motivation really is sec 3044 considers that harassment defines me as a DV perpetrator! So I almost auto lose my 50%custody rights. Nice tactical move by her attny, Its chessNPoker at same time played in bias court. I did not know that till after the judgment, since they "hide the ball" on the real life issues in play custody n visitation & rights to move freely to see my kid at school, soccer, church, graduations the nest 5 yrs. Readers, its NOT about the truth

[jonanthony]

See answer above from me really reply to GV70's answer. This to get us on same page. Not about kind of order since I noted that already but I understand the need for specific clarification given semantics and diff states rules.

[jonanthony]

TO motivation: Her attny found out I filed a preemptive complaint with local DA for her 2 no shows on visitations in Nov-Dec. I then filed a OSC for contempt of visitation orders from 6-10 and OSC modification for a mid week overnight stay. So then she filed the TRO in mid Jan with me ignorantly thinking last week I could handle the argument a the hearing on my own. I think honestly my presentation at hearing was too wordy, rushed,not clear,nervousness came off as emotional, and I was focused on her credibility and not on the most important tool a real attny would have known, the cross examination and that the email/text did not meet standard of immanent fear and that OLD TRO decarations were all hearsay & she had prior TRO also in file. Bottom line is I needed to hire a good attny who understood the stakes. So now tons of $ to spend on fixing my mistake on thinking I could go on the cheap and keep my emotiona under check. Warning to other Dads, thinking " oh my wife(x)would never do that" or the court will sanction her for perjury in declarations... just hardball over control & money played in a mine field.