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LjeanLs · Feb 16, 2011, 06:41 AM

I no might not can fix my mental and verbal abused relationship, but if anyone has advice without having to leave and tear my family apart I would love the advice because I have a boyfriend that controls my life I would like to no if there is ways I can control it and try to fix it myself.

joypulv · Feb 16, 2011, 06:44 AM

You can't fix anyone but yourself, so leave, painful though it will be at first.

answerme_tender · Feb 16, 2011, 10:18 AM

We have no control over anyone but ourselves!! This a choice that only YOU can make. If he is verbally bashing you just to lower yourself esteem to make himself a bigger man then don't you think its time to get the heck out!!

If your children are having to witness this verbal abuse, do you really think your doing them a favor by staying so they have to continue witnessing this, or even perhap thinking this is the way of life!!

You might want to get ahold of your church see if they can help, or call a woman's shelter get their advice.

Take care

Jake2008 · Feb 16, 2011, 03:09 PM

What do you mean by 'family', are you living with your parents, his parents? Do you have children together?

Why do you feel you have on the choice to stay.

What is your relationship like; why do you say he controls you, and what do you mean by mental and verbal abuse, i.e. are there substance problems, mental health issues.

A little more information would be helpful before advising you.

talaniman · Feb 16, 2011, 04:41 PM

Either he goes, or you go, and you get help. There is no other way for you to change his abusive ways.

GET SOME HELP!

LjeanLs · Feb 17, 2011, 01:15 PM

I have 3children and live with him have no money no job no car so I can not leave without some were to go anda way to take care of my kids I coul live with my mom but my children do not want to change schools I'm not aloud to go anywere unless it is with my mom and his mom not aloud to be on the internet when he is home... I would like to find a job online that I could do at home were he would not no about it that would be a start I am a high school grad but that is all the education I have

Cat1864 · Feb 17, 2011, 02:14 PM

How long have you been with this male?
Are you married?
How old are the children? Are they his children?
What part of the world do you live in? (It will help narrow down what services are available to you.)
Do the mothers know about his control and abuse?
Has it ever gotten physical?

Think about this: He isn't only abusing you. He is abusing your children. He doesn't have to direct it at them. Their witnessing what you go through is damaging to them.

They may not want to leave the school they are in, but they may have to make that change. Though they don't think so right now, it could be the best thing for them.

It seems you want to take chances on getting a job before leaving. What happens if he finds out before you are ready to leave?

There are organizations that can help you, but you have to reach out to them.