[alchinastarr]

Ok, my step-father touches me and I hate it, but I'm afraid of what he will do if I tell someone. Is there any hope?

[shygrneyzs]

He touches you and you do not like this. Have you told him "hands off"? You need to tell him to get his hands off you and if he touches you again you will report him to child protective services and the police. Yes, this can be seen as a form of abuse. Sexual abuse, since this is unwanted. Do not let him get by with this.

If you are in school and cannot tell your Mother about this, please tell one of your teachers, the school nurse, the school counselor, the principal, anyone there that will intervene for you. You can call Social Services yourself and report this. What he is doing is creepy and he needs to stop it now.

Good luck to you.

[donf]

Al

How old are you and how long has your mom been married to your step-****?

Is what abuse? Touches you where and in what context? While no one needs gory details of what you are alarmed about we do need to understand what exactly is setting those alarms off for you.

You are asking us to assist you in deciding whether his actions might be considered as sexual in fact and therefore criminal in nature. Therefore we need to know exactly what the actions were.

"Additional thoughts based on the above posting"

Do you have a solid relationship with your mom? Do you have a family Priest, Pastor or Rabbi or other clergy member you feel you can speak openly with?

Are you in any physical danger at the present time?

I can say as a father and grandfather I can honestly tell you if I knew anyone was scaring my daughter or granddaughter that way, I would be in the County Prosecutor's office wanting them to slam the beast in prison.

Please continue to talk to us until we can get good solid information to you. If you feel safe enough, tell your step father that you would rather not be touched anywhere by him. If he says, "Sorry, it won't happen again." Accept the apology and if it does happen again go see a County Prosecutor that specializes in Pedophile prosecution. Do not under any circumstances, challenge him or provoke him. He may be capable of much worse behavior then he has showed you so far. Do not get your self hurt by starting a battle that there is no reason able way you could physically win. If you see or sense the danger, avoid further conflict and get out of the house as soon as you safely can. Find the nearest Church in your neighbor hood and go there. Ask them to call the police and not the your home or ask them to let you call the police. Do not open any further conversations with you Mom or any family members until the Police talk with you.

Also, the FBI does have local teams within their offices that also deal with this. While they may not be able to act on your behalf, they can be trusted to always protect you and get the protection on the local level you may need.

[alchinastarr]

What if my mother or other people don't believe me?

[shygrneyzs]

Often times the Mother of the child does not believe or does not WANT to believe what is going on - because it creates a conflict for her. Makes no sense to me - but it happens quite a bit. The Mother would rather accuse her own flesh and blood of lying than stand up for the child. This is a tough situation.

A person who should not be making judgements as to whether they believe you is someone like your school nurse, a social worker, law enforcement, a pastor or minister, a school counselor - someone in a professional field.

Have you been writing these things down in a diary or a journal? When the step-father touches you and anything he says to you? Dates and times. Do you have any older brothers or sisters that you could talk to that would help you? Or someone else in the family, like an Aunt or Grandparent? Or the parents of your best friend? Someone you can confide in and trust that they will protect what you say to them.

[alchinastarr]

My mother will not believe me, she's to... I don't know

[donf]

Al,

May I call you that?

Please re-read my post, I've added it to it because of the first responder's excellent advice.

I would consel you to expect the initial reaction of you Mom to be one of denial of your charges. There is no earthly reason why she wouls ever expect someone that loves her to not love her child.

Take care.

[donf]

Al,

I have to leave the house now for about an hour and a half. Please stay with us as long as you can.

Any chance you would be willing some of the questions I've been peppering you with? It will give you something to do and to also help you organize your thoughts.

[alchinastarr]

Do you know any websites or hotlines for this? Will they show up on the phone bill, I'm scared of what my parents will do

[Wondergirl]

I can't remember if 800 numbers show up on my bill. How about calling from a friend's house. The homeowner will not get charged for 800 calls.

[shygrneyzs]

Websites will not show up, except in the computer's history. Toll free numbers do not show up on a phone bill.

Some sites with toll free numbers - organizations that work with sexual abuse victims:

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
AWARE

Call 1-866-367-5444 - The Darkness to Light National Helpline Network
Child Sexual Abuse Resources Organizations - Get Help

Domestic Violence Hotline/Child Abuse
800-4-A-CHILD (800 422 4453)

Incest Awareness Foundation
1-888 -547-3222

National Adolescent Suicide Hotline
800-621-4000

National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-422-4453

National Runaway Switchboard and Suicide Hotline
1-800-621-4000

National Youth Crisis Hotline
1-800-448-4663

Self-Injury Hotline
SAFE (Self Abuse Finally Ends) Alternatives Program
Self Injury1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)


Sexual Assault Hotline
800-656-4673

Stop It Now! (Sexual Abuse)
1-888-PREVENT

Society's Leaque Against Molestation
1-800-491-WATCH

Suicide & Crisis Hotline
1-800-999-9999

Suicide Hotline - (National Adolescent)
800-621-4000

[alchinastarr]

I don't know any friends that will let me use their phones for this, they don't know

[shygrneyzs]

Here are two other teen helplines:

Teen Helpline
1-800-400-0900

TeenLine
1-800-522-8336

[Wondergirl]

Shy said 800 number don't show up on a phone bill and shy listed tons of numbers.

Now the ball is in your court. Make a call to one of those 800 numbers. Do it today!

[EIFS EXPERT]

If you are seriously being abused run away.
If you can, run away to a church, restaurant, hotel, fire department, anywhere, but do it fast. The longer you stay the more harm he will do to you. Then have someone call the cops for you and tell the police everything.

[shygrneyzs]

Your city may have a women's shelter for women and children who have been sexually abused, molested, etc. That would be in the phone book. They offer safe homes and counseling and know where to get the proper legal assistance.

[alchinastarr]

What happens if they do?

[shygrneyzs]

If who does what? If you are offered a safe home? Take it and begin your journey to well being.

[alchinastarr]

OK, thank you

[shygrneyzs]

I realize you are at a point in your life where you are cannot see what all is going on and how to get out of it all. But if you did get to a safe shelter, those professionals there can help you with counseling, legal concerns (such as the step-father touching you), health, and getting a positive feeling about yourself. You can learn that what you have grown up is not the norm. You can learn that what happens, what can happen, can be your choice.

Love your Mom - but you do not have to love what she does in regards to not believing you or being proactive with your well being. You will learn what is healthy and unhealthy and how to avoid getting into those environments that make you dysfunctional.

Safety is first for you. Then counseling. Protection from those who only seek their own needs and not care about your rights. Making sure you are healthy - in body and mind.