[darrius001]

I'm a 41 year old man. This is very hard to deal with. I never truly believed in the soul mate thing at all, until I met this one special woman. She is 4 years older than I am. The day I met her, the moment I saw her get out of her car,I fell madly in love with her, and she with me. After 2 years of blissful happiness, my daughter heard her drunk one night on the phone talking to a guy she dated at the ripe old age of 14, over 30 years ago. When I confronted her about it, she felt guilty and I asked her to stop talking to him. She did for awhile. She moved out 8 months ago back to her house to start working on it (it had been vacant for the 3+ years she lived with me). We spent a great new years together. Then a few days later she broke it off with me, saying she invited this other guy to move in with her. I have never been this devastated in my life.
Everyone tells me to cut her loose, move on etc. I know she still loves me, but she loves him. Her problem is figuring out how she loves each of us. I just can't let her go, I don't want to. I feel deep in my heart that she truly is my destiny. I have giving up on every relationship I've ever been in. I do not want to give up on her. I love her too much to just walk away. I told her once, that I would die miserable and alone because I can never truly love another person, it wouldn't be fair to them, because I can't give them my all. If I die, id ask god just to let me see her, hold her, kiss her and see her smile at me before he sends me to wherever my final destiny would be. Some may say I'm obsessed, but in reality, I am so much in love with her, and I will till the day I die.
Any advice would be great, thank you

[Cat1864]

I know this is hard to hear. You don't fix 'it'. I am not going to tell you to give up. I am going to tell you to fully back away from trying for awhile. For the moment, take time to work on you and your relationship with yourself. Even if you get back together at some point you need to have healed and moved on from this break up.

She has to live her own life. You have to live yours.

Do not put her on a pedestal. She is human. Quite frankly, I am not sure she is the person you think she is or want her to be if she can hop/slide from one committed relationship to another. Seems like she is more interested in getting her immediate wants filled instead of actually working on a relationship.

Make certain that all of your mutual business is taken care of and then go No Contact. No Contact means having absolutely no communication with her. You don't call or email her and you don't accept correspondence from her. You do not allow anyone to give you 'updates' on what she is doing. You end the confusion on your part by not getting caught up in hers.

Do things that you enjoy that help you feel good about yourself. It can be picking up an old hobby or starting a new one, exercise, volunteer work, taking classes, etc. Get in touch with friends you may have put on hold over the course of your relationship. Get out and meet new people.

You are making her too responsible for your happiness. Time to work on being happy with yourself and IF she returns (after you work through the issues that caused the break up) allow her to be a part of enhancing your happiness.

Live for yourself. Take care of yourself.

[talaniman]

Boy that's tough, but for sure you know now, while your feelings were strong and true, hers were not. Or else she wouldn't be on a romantic adventure with another. This is where you leave her alone, and let her go.

Reality hurts sometimes, and we have to heal.

[Cat1864]

ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again.

Letting go and healing are your only reasonable options.

[vanheart]

I agree with Cat.

Not sure why you would want to be with someone that did that anyway.

That's a slap in the face.

You'll be better off. Leave her be.

Id rather be alone then have false hopes over someone that screwed me over like that.

Your self-respect is way more important than her.