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heaven75 · Jan 28, 2011, 09:47 AM

At 17 he got a MIP (minor in possession) and we got that dropped in October 2010 because he finished the requirements of the court but was told if he got into anymore trouble that offense would be brought back up. Now only 3 months later he got pulled over and blew .062 on his BAC level. I am done with trying to teach and talk to him. He acts like he is listening but still continues to do as he pleases after sitting through the conversation with me. He plans to go to college but is screwing that up by the day. He still lives at home when he chooses to be here. I can not get him to take responsibility (doing his laundry,helping with house chores, and I really don't think his is looking for work very hard). He hasn't done his own laundry for 3 months and continues to wear dirty clothes to school and he takes his brothers socks instead of washing his own. I know this sounds messed up but I need some kind of response. I am getting ready to drop him off my auto insurance. Does that sound cold?

smoothy · Jan 28, 2011, 10:48 AM

Its not cold... he wants to act like an idiot... then he better be ready to fully support himself.

He gets away with it because so far he hasn't really had to pay any substantial consequences for his actions.

I would give him an ultimatum... you are 18... if you expect to live here you WILL do X... you WILL do Y... and you WILL do Z. If you continue to drink OR won't do X, Y, and Z you will have to leave the house and find your own place. And support yourself.

I would not let him drive ANY of your vehicles... assuming they haven't yet taken his license away. When... I say when... not if... he gets drunk and kills or seriously injurs someone... you will be held partially responsible as you allowed him to use your vehicle.

So you see... his behaviour CAN do far more than upset you... it can bankrupt you if you allow it to continue.

Time for tough love.

THis is of course... you live in a place that doesn't require you to support an otherwise legally adult child (and he is acting like a child). Many places you can toss them out at 18.