[Frustr8edwife]

Does this mean he is getting it elsewhere? I'm more than available and have tried to set the mood, even gotten toys, but I've had enough of this rejection. What gives?? We went from 5 to 6 times a week down to 1 or 2 times a month. When we met he knew I was borderline nympho, and I haven't changed. He's put on some weight so if anything I should have been turned off, but I'm not, I love him. So what do I do?

[tickle]

If he has put on weight, maybe he is ashamed of how he looks and this has turned him off, maybe not necessarily anything to do with you. Have you thought of this ? Get him going on an exercise routine, both of you should walk. Take an interest and both of you weigh yourselves and keep a record. He probably needs encouragement. Body image can have a terrible downside in the marital bed.

Tick

[Trueblu]

Frustr8ted wife,

Been there done that, When a couple first meet the fire is burning. You are on cloud nine and things are great like most new challenging and fresh relationships. However, after awhile and mostly in men when the challenge goes away it becomes more like another job to get down. He still loves you I am sure. I never stopped loving my wife. But the fire was gone. And basically it was more about performance than making love. Men like a challenge. They like for there woman to try looking a little different. And more than often we don't express our feelings when stressed so it could also be something going on at work or with another family member. The best thing to do is not pressure him. Talk about something he enjoys. Give him a surprise gift that you know he would love to have. Show him that he is the best thing ever. Even if he hasn't shown u the attention you desire. Men go through phases also. But what made things better for me is we decided to talk more and so more exciting things outside the bed room. Which will eventually bring you home to a better bedroom life.

[Cat1864]

How old are you? How old is he? When was the last time he had a physical? Other than putting on weight have there been any other changes or added stresses? Does he drink or take any medications that could limit his libido? Are there any children?

Have you tried talking to him about the issue when you are not in the bedroom or expecting sex?

Why has he put on weight? Weight gain can be a symptom of health issues that can limit a person's libido.

Does he show affection and intimacy in other ways and at times when sex isn't expected? Do you?

How you view sex can also affect the relationship. Do you see sex as enhancing the love and affection already present or as a measure of how much he cares about you and desires you? Do you expect him to satisfy all of your sexual needs or do you take care of some of them yourself?

Keep in mind that very few couples keep up the 'close to every day' pace of having sex. For many it tapers off to once a week or so. It also goes through phases as health and stress affect daily life.

Bottom line is communicate with him. Find out if he has noticed that the sex has tapered off in the relationship and ask him how he feels about it. Work together as a couple to figure out what the source of the issue is. See what can be done as partners.

[talaniman]

Have you ask him why he rejects you? You haven't changed but maybe he has, or you misread him because of your own frustrations. Something has changed in your lives so what is it? Work, job, kids, family problems?

You can bet there are more than just bedroom problems going on. Cheating? I doubt it. Bet its something a lot closer to home, and the only way to find out is to ask, and pay attention.

How are the other areas of the marriage?? That's where I would look.