[notplayinggames]

Hey Everyone,
So here is my situation. I met a girl about a month and a half ago... We starting talking and going on dates. After about 2 weeks we starting sleeping together. I would get weird vibes from her now and then about where she would go, but nothing too serious. Sometimes whenn she goes out she won't text me for the whole night and this girl ALWAYS has her phone on her, she texts me every night besides the ones she goes out on. She even sleeps with her phone. But recently these are the things that are bothering me...
1) She says stupid things like "Oh I'll never love any child as much as I love my cat" and she is serious. She works crazy hours and works double shifts and has hardly anything to show for it because she always buys top end clothing. She flat out said "I work just to buy these nice things"
2) Her best friend's husband always texts her and says that he likes her and wants to get with her... I told her she should tell her best friend that... but she doesn't... she says she is just going to ignore it and she goes over their house a lot and gets drunk. I just find that very strange. She's going to be 27 and gets drunk about twice a week.
3) Recently she went out and got in an accident at 3am... she was a little shady about it... I kind of felt like she had a date so I was honest with her and told her how I felt... and she replied" I wasn't on a date, but what if I was? Or what if I wanted to go on one? I told her that when I sleep with someone I don't date other people or sleep around... she said she agreed and didn't want to see anybody else... she's very materialistic... and some of her friends are heavy drinkers and do drugs...
4) When I met her she was on match.com and after a month and a half of dating me.. I checked today and she still goes on match.com. I am on the fence about just ending things with her... I mean I do like her, but I just get a weird vibe from her now and then... Am I overthinking this?

[Magstaa90]

Clearly you are not! Honestly, she sounds really immature, and that she doesn't want to be committing to anything. She doesn't respect your feelings either. Sounds like she has the upper hand and is abusing that. Especially at age 27 she should be worrying about her future goals and not spending everything on clothes. Just remember there's more fishes out in the sea! Before even getting any deeper with things, you should just end it! Good luck to you!

[talaniman]

No, you are not over thinking this, as you are getting some very clear red flags from this stranger you have hooked up with that are telling you to slow down, and be more cautious, and think with the BIG head, and not the small one.

Be aware, she isn't about just letting sex be a commitment to you, and has different views than you do on that subject.

What you expected her to feel as you do because you had sex after a couple of weeks? Change her whole life?

Naw, that ain't going to happen because she ain't as emotionally invested that deep, and maybe you are.

Good sex can do that to a guy (and gal sometimes to be sure, but clearly, not this one), so back up to an emotionally safer distance, and see what you have gotten yourself into, and who you got into it with.

Assuming, and presuming she shares your feelings, and concerns, is as premature as having sex so soon was, and thinking this is a committed relationship. Its all lust on both your parts.

Maybe you should end things now, before you find out things you will not want to know, or can handle. Heck that may have happened already.

[88sunflower]

Go with your instincts. She has some growing up to do it seems and she clearly isn't ready to do that just yet.

Can I ask what her profile or what it was she was looking for on Match.com? Its very possible she is out there just looking for fun while your looking for more then just fun. Was this ever talked about?

[answerme_tender]

Iam surprised that you have put up with her behavior this long.

Obviously she has no problem being the party gal!! The question is do you seriously think you can have a meaningful relationship with someone who is only interested in material things, and drinking!!

[notplayinggames]

Yes, I agree with everyone. Well, on her profile she said she was looking for someone to settle down with. But that does not seem to be the case. I mean I love to have fun and drink now and then, but no where near getting drunk twice a week. Now I just found out she takes xanax now and then... As far as my emotional investment... It is just my personal choice to only sleep with one person at a time and not date other people as I'm getting to know the person I'm with. Me and her discussed this and she said she felt the same, but sometimes the things she says just doesn't make sense and makes me think twice. Then she will randomly txt me and say "I miss u!" "Do u miss me?"... She does have some growing up to do. So should I just end things now?

[talaniman]

Only you know what your timetable is to know if she is worth any more time, or emotional investment for a long term thing, and I hope you sit her down and talk about it. At least that's what I would do, because she IS a stranger that you know little about other than her profile, and the things she has done in the MONTH AND A HALF you have known her.

If you are already turned off, then say good bye, and move on. Try your luck on line again, and waste no more time on this one. I don't care about profiles anyway, its online dating, don't trip, just try another one and watch it when you introduce sex into the equation.

Maybe you shouldn't even listen to me, because if I was single, I would be dating a whole bunch of online prospects, and having a great time at it, and when one hit me right, I would leave the others alone, and focus on that one. They didn't have online in my day, wish they did, but seems to me like if you are going to date at all, you should know where to draw the line between good potential, or no way.

But if this girl hasn't convinced you in a month and a half, get back on the computer, and order up another one.

[notplayinggames]

Well I think she just made my mind up for me... I'm a musician, I was in the studio yesterday... and ended up having a bad day due to our manager and the mix up of times in the studio... She txt me again asking "Do you miss me" I said I was really pissed and had a bad day... She doesn't ask how I am or what was wrong, but ends up sending me a picture of Justin Bieber on my phone.. She knows I don't like him, but she is 27 and loves him... and she went through the trouble of putting lipstick lip marks on a magazine cover of him, taking a picture and sending it to me... I wasn't too happy

[88sunflower]

OK at 27 that is seriously childish. Wow. I can't even laugh at the stupidity of it. Not to mention kissing a child on a magazine cover. She is 27! Personally I have one thought. Run fast. Run far.

[answerme_tender]

My question are you getting all hooked up on her outward appearance? Maybe trying to make excuses for her apparent immature behavior for a woman her age.

What Justin Bieber, eeww---okay even a woman my age--Um young 47 would be totally put out with anyone bringing up that little S**t. I agree with Sunflower you need to get the running shoes on, and USE THEM!!

Take care

[notplayinggames]

Hi, no, I'm not making excuses for her. I totally agree with you all. There is no excuse for her behavior... She's immature and needs to grow up! I'm %99 there, but like talaniman said "I have to start thinking with my big head instead of the other one" The sex is great and I can honestly say that's the only reason why I hung around this long. I just have to beat it in my mind that that is not a healthy relationship and I need to get out and I want to get it!

[talaniman]

Then get out, the sooner the better.

[mystific]

I envision a wall filled with cuttouts and lipstick kisses on some and darts in others.

Maybe crazy dolls that talk to her as well...

Yeah, she's not all there.. and me personally would prefer to be COUNTRIES away from where there is.