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maddy18 · Jan 18, 2011, 06:55 AM

We were friends in college and eventually fell in love.. we love spending time with each other and with time I have become very emotionally dependent on him. He got a job in delhi now and I in chennai..
Just one month down he wants to breakup with me because he does not want a long distance relationship.. I just can't imagine myself without him.. I love him too much.. please help me.. what should me do to persuade him to stay with me?

ChickyBaby · Jan 28, 2011, 05:33 PM

I am sorry to say... there is nothing you can do to persuade him. :(

If it is meant to be... it will be.

But for now, just let it go... if you try to hold on to him, you will just annoy him and then he won't even want to be your friend. :)

Everything happens for a reason... remember that.

talaniman · Jan 28, 2011, 09:15 PM

The only way I see things working since he is away, is for someone moving to be with the other. What's disturbing is you being so dependent on him, or thinking you are. Why can't you stand on your own, and NOT be so dependent?

BBKittyKat · Feb 10, 2011, 08:19 PM

Often long distance relationships don't work. I myself have been through one. I did not believe naysayers, but lo and behold, they were right.

Since he said he does not want a long distance relationship, are u willing to move over to be with him? Are u brave enough to leave home, leave your family and friends and your life (your school/ job, your favorite local food)? Are u willing to give up everything to be with a guy whose love isn't strong enough to withstand the distance in a relationship? If your answer is a strong resounding YES, suggest to your man that you want to move over to join him. See if he is willing.

If he isn't willing, it means the 'long distance' is probably a convenient reason for a breakup.

If he is willing, what if he has to move again? Are u going to be the one sacrificing your life each time he moves? It's OK if he moves between states or countries. But what if one day his heart moved? His heart moved to another girl who isn't so dependent on him, and you sacrificed EVERYTHING for NOTHING? Is that OK with u?

If u decide that u can't move over to be with him, then remain friends. Keep in touch. You never know what may happen in future. In the meantime, u have to work on building a life apart from him. U have to stop depending on him for whatever it is you are depending on him for. If it is happiness, try to find happiness apart from him, so that u may be happy WITH or WITHOUT him. This is extremely important to your personal well-being and any relationship u may have in future. NO MAN will stay with a dependent girl for long. They will view the girl as having 'no life', and a burden to them as they feel responsible for being with u. this responsibility will turn any initial sparks to an obligation. A dread. He wouldn't be excited hanging out with u anymore. Instead, it will become a chore. Yup.

Good luck! It will be hard breaking away from him emotionally. But take baby steps and u will get there! e.g. resist the urge to call him 10 times a day to tell him u miss him. Maybe 5 times will do. ;) u will get better with practice!