[yoga.gal]

My friend starting dating a guy she met in a bar while studying abroad from 4 months. She says he's perfect for her and they really hit it off. He was enthusiastic and committed straight away... she got to know his friends, met his parents, they talked all the time and saw each other as much as they could. Even said 'I love you' to each other after only 2 months together.

She has now moved back home and they are continuing their relationship long distance. They have been together now for 3months and then 2 months long distance. He does not have much money and my friend is pretty wealthy so she decided to surprise him for his birthday by paying for him to go to visit her for a week (cost her over £500). She also at the same time, paid for herself to visit him a month later (another £500).

Here is where I am concerned... he seems to be a nice guy but she is doing most of the work contact wise and though he said he wants to make it last and go stay with her in future, by what she has told me, he spends all his money going out drinking or to gigs with his friends and hasn't made any effort to get a better job or save up money.

On the other hand, she is investing a lot of time and money and effort in him... but she does really love him so she says doing it makes her happy.

My question is - should I voice my concerns to her that I am worried that she is spending all this money on him and investing so much emotionally on him so early on... and that I am worried he will take advantage of her caring nature? Or is it none of my business and I should just let things happen?

[ma0641]

Love may be blind but friends aren't. It's a catch 22, you may break up something that would have worked out or you may break one heart but not the other. How old is your "friend"?

[yoga.gal]

That's the problem... well I'm not going to try to break them up but feel I should let her know what I'm thinking so she slows down a bit. But if I say this stuff to her and then they stay together I feel there will always be an awkwardness between us.

But then again I don't know how they could stay together in the longterm because he would need to get a visa and does not have the money for one. Surely she wouldn't pay for that too? She is 21 and a student.

[Lakou]

The answer is none of business.