[jessa.myers]

My boyfriend was really drunk and a little high on New Year's Eve this year at a party we went to together. At one point, he got very angry for no reason that I can even think of and completely freaked out. The night ended with him choking me (while whispering "I'll just kill you then.") to the point of spots of light popping up in my vision and me having a swollen neck. It hurts SO bad. He also bit me to the point of drawing blood and a massive bruise on the side of my neck.

I know that him being messed up is no excuse for him to do this to me, or any girl. But the thing is, he has NEVER acted like that before, ever. Not once have I seen an abusive tendency from this man, and I love him to pieces. He has apologized numerous times, but I haven't talked to him or seen him yet since then. He says it was the drugs mixed with the booze that turned him so demonic and that he swears to God that it will never happen again.. I told him promises don't equal trust. Am I wrong here? Should I at least try to give him another chance?

I am a senior in high school. He is 19 and a sophomore in college. We have plans to move next fall where I'm going to college next year together, and we already have everything lined out. Should I give all this up and have to be up there alone? I want to stay with him, but now I feel like a scared puppy, always flinching at things and I'm terrified to make him mad. I don't know what to do.. Help?

[talaniman]

Now that you know what he is capable of it would be very STUPID, AND FOOLISH to continue with him. Tell some one what happened, and be quick about it.


Should I give all this up and have to be up there alone?
You shouldn't be anywhere with him, and never be alone with this jerk!!!

I want to stay with him, but now I feel like a scared puppy, always flinching at things and I'm terrified to make him mad.
Thats not love and nobody should feel that way about someone else

I don't know what to do.. Help?
Tell someone, preferably your parents so they can get you some counseling ASAP, and any other help you need.

[smile.now]

I agree with talani.
Me being a heavy drinker and mixing it up with drugs I never turn like that.
You shouldn't be around people like that cause you will get traumatized by it especially women

[irisosk]

Firstly you have to tell someone. We have all heard the stories about young girls with their boyfriends that show indications of violence and tell no one and forgive them then it escalates and they end up murdered. Sorry but drinking and being high does not magically make someone turn that way to the point of having his hands around your neck and saying ill just kill you then. These are feelings that live underneath the surface of this guy! If you just forgive him he´ll know how far he can go without reprecautions! I know that when people give you advice like this it might sound harsh to tell you to just leave him and that he's a jerk when we don't know what kind of a person he is normally. But the fact is that this is pretty severe. IF you do intend on forgiving him and staying with him you must give him an ultimatum. If the drugs and the alcohol makes him this way than he can't be on these substances around you. If he wants to be with you it won't be hard to quit but if he says no you'll know how much you really mean to him which is not a lot if threatening to kill you doesn't face him enaugh to do that . Just above all tell someone! Don't become one of those stories about these poor girls!