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Cyrano13 · Jan 24, 2007, 12:36 AM

Ok here goes, A year ago I met this wonderful girl. So I decided to ask for her number and I was planning on asking her out on a date. Well she gave me her number but before I could ask her out she started dating this guy. So we became friends, and over time, best friends. She broke up with her boyfriend around June. Who did she call to cry about it? Of course it was me! ANd I love that I am the one she calls when her life isn't going great. I have fallen completely in love with this girl. I honestly think about her everyday. My friends told her about my crush which upset me. But nothing came of it. And yesterday her girl best friend told me that she said "how can he expect me to like him when he is always talking about another girl." I only did that because I thought it would make her feel more comfortable. There are times I think she cares for me and other times I don't know. What should I do? Tell her I am in love with her? Or just continue to be the best friend. I do get jealous when guys hit on her! Ha help!

handoferebus · Jan 24, 2007, 12:56 AM

I think that you need to tell her how you feel. I suspect she probably already knows, but desires to hear it from you directly. I believe if your friendship is as strong as it sounds, that if you two were to get into a relationship and realize that it's not for your benefit, that you can fall back onto the strong friendship.

I'm thinking that if you were to be in a failed relationship with her, that seeing her with other guys might not bring about the jealousy as much.

I really think it's time you tell her, and hope for (and work for) the absolute best. Best of luck.

talaniman · Jan 24, 2007, 01:11 AM

Have a serious talk with her and be honest. It could ruin the friendship or be the start of dating. Life is full of risk.

Krs · Jan 24, 2007, 01:18 AM

As Tal said, like is full of risk totally!
I would talk to this girl express how you feel, she probably wants to hear it from you and not second hand!
Good Luck.

Cyrano13 · Jan 25, 2007, 12:54 AM

Thanks everyone for your help I appreciate it! BUt there is a new development! Tonight one of my closest guy friends asked her on a date and she said yes? What do I do now? I mean I'm completely baffled!!

talaniman · Jan 25, 2007, 07:26 AM

That's one f the risk of liking any female, some one else may like her too. Sorry.

Cyrano13 · Jan 27, 2007, 09:24 AM

Just an Update: I decided to write everything down that I have ever wanted to say to her. And I gave it to her... I gave it to her the night before she was going on a date with my guy friend. Well she still went on the date with him which I figured she would but he called me today and told me they had a blast. So I am guessing that she's not interested in me which is fine... at least I finally told her how I felt.

JoeCanada76 · Jan 27, 2007, 09:32 AM

Very true. You told her how you felt and that is good for you. They had a blast so that is important to your friend. Good luck

Joe

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 27, 2007, 09:43 AM

Originally Posted by Cyrano13

thanks everyone for your help I appreciate it!! BUt there is a new development! Tonight one of my closest guy friends asked her on a date and she said yes? What do I do now? I mean im completely baffled!!!!

That can be a hard situation, I have experienced that one before and I really liked (not loved) the woman, but she went with my best friend.. That was 10 years ago and I was not ready for a relationship at that point in my life anyway. It did dent my trust in people a bit though as my best friend knew I liked her but did it I think to spite me or prove something, not quite sure which...

He ended up being a cheater! Wonderful human being might I add..

I think it is fine that you have told her how you feel as sometimes holding these things back can be unbearable. I know that unreciprocated love/feelings is a painful experience even on a mild level i.e if you are not in a relationship with that person. It may be good at this point to move away from this friendship so as to avoid any further pain on your part and to begin a process of moving on.

Cyrano13 · Jan 27, 2007, 02:32 PM

Geoffersonairplane there is absolutely no possible way for me to ever move away from this friendship. It would take her telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again to get me to stop being friends with her. And then I would do everything in my power to get her back. She is by far my best friend. No amount of pain on my part will ever make me walk away from that. Ive suffered through a year with an awful secret. Now the secret is out so I the suffering should ease up. Yes it will be hard seeing her with my friend but if that is what she wants then I support her 100%. Thanks for your advice!

Geoffersonairplane · Jan 27, 2007, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by Cyrano13

Geoffersonairplane there is absolutely no possible way for me to ever move away from this friendship. It would take her telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again to get me to stop being friends with her. And then I would do everything in my power to get her back. She is by far my best friend. No amount of pain on my part will ever make me walk away from that. Ive suffered through a year with an awful secret. Now the secret is out so I the suffering should ease up. Yes it will be hard seeing her with my friend but if that is what she wants then I support her 100%. Thanks for your advice!

That's a really nice thing to say that you would support her. I would stress though that do you think it is fair on her and yourself to continue the friendship at the moment while you feel so striongly for her? She may feel uncomfortable with it, I am not saying you could never be friends but this will eat you up inside... There is always a way! Perhaps just take some time away from her to help you sort through those feelings you have.