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    SHYGIRL14's Avatar
    SHYGIRL14 Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 29, 2010, 11:57 PM
    Jail Bait
    I am 14 years old, and I have been seeing a guy for a while now, but recently we have started dating, as in girlfriend/boyfriend. People say this is wrong because of the age difference, and I realise that, but what is so bad? Is two people falling in love with each other bad? Is being happy bad? I know that he can get in a lot of trouble because of it, but at the same time, I love him, I don't want to let him go. We are in a sexual relationship, but what is so bad about our relationship, really? I was always told that if you love each other then you should be together, that is how our parents got together right? so why is it that because I'm under the age of 16 that this is considered "rape" or being a "perv"? and why is it that we have all these rules considered as the law, but in reality if you love someone you should get to choose who you date and who you have sex with, no matter how old you are. So someone please tell me, why is this considered so wrong?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Dec 30, 2010, 12:09 AM

    Laws are put in place to protect people. In this case it's to protect people that don't yet have the understanding, the maturity, to make decisions that can effect the rest of their lives in a negative way.

    You're 14. Pregnancy does occur when sex is involved, even if you use every contraception device on the market at the same time, you can still get pregnant. There's no way that a 14 year old can care for a child by herself, which is one of the reasons there's a law against underage sex.

    It's not wrong to fall in love, but sex isn't love. If this older guy really loved you he'd wait until you're old enough and mature enough to make this decision.

    I don't expect you to understand. When I was 14 I felt the same way you do now, but as I got older I understood. You will too.

    For now you should know that having underage sex can land your boyfriend in jail, and he will be labeled as a sex offender. You see, if he's older (an adult) than he does know better, and he does know the consequences of his actions, and he will be held accountable.

    Those are the facts. The law is there to protect you, even if it has to protect you from yourself.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #3

    Dec 31, 2010, 12:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by SHYGIRL14 View Post
    ... I know that he can get in a lot of trouble because of it, but at the same time, i love him, ...
    If you really love him, you won't put him at risk of
    • going to prison
    • being required to be a registered sex offender for the rest of his life
    • and, not to mention, being a father before either of you are ready.


    Frankly, I am not sure what this thread is doing in the legal section. You know, apparently, that if OP has sex with her BF it will be considered "statutory rape", a felony. What other "legal" issue is there?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Dec 31, 2010, 06:22 PM

    Yes, at 14 you don't know what love really is, ( sorry you think you do, but you don't)

    You can date with your parents permission, but not without,
    And if you are 14, and have sex, yes the boy will be considered a sex offender and be put in jail.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Dec 31, 2010, 06:55 PM

    I notice you don't say how old he is. Also ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

    You ask what is wrong with your relationship, its easy, you are too young to be in a sexual relationship. And that's why there are laws about age of consent.
    NYcityboy's Avatar
    NYcityboy Posts: 785, Reputation: 65
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    #6

    Jan 3, 2011, 03:34 PM

    If he loves you, he will wait too.

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