[Dingloon]

She said I was over controlling her and she wants a break up she ask me to wait ask in two weeks time and she said chances are slim she said she still love mr and wear the watch I gave her so what should I do I don't want her to leave me

[joypulv]

You do what several million people a year do - you live with it and move on.
It's possible to love someone you can't live with or be with, although it would have been better had she not said that to confuse you. But you need to get busy with work, school, hobbies, interests, friends and family.
If you think there's some truth to you being controlling, seek help so that next time it doesn't happen again. That's not an easy trait to undo.

[talaniman]

Stop being so controlling, and talk to her in two weeks, or walk away and find somebody who wants to be controlled. Your choice.

[bestbessie]

I wonder why people feel the need to control others, because ultimately you can't and they just end up disliking you. A great relationship is one where you actually do have some privacy, some free time, some space. Don't you want that too? It's not a sign of love to feel you have to be with this person ALL the freaking time, and have to witness everything they say and do. That's not being loving, that's being a security camera array.

The need to control others seems to come out of some insecurity - and that insecurity ends up as you effectively signalling to your partner "I think you are untrustworthy and incapable of being virtuous".

I also wonder if mobile phones, Facebook, instant messaging are all now ways that we can check up on the other, and just increase the level of suspicion. Once upon a time if you went out the other person just had to accept that you were uncontactable, and that you went where you said you would go, and would be back when you said you would be.

Maybe this is an opportunity to find out what she found controlling (with an open mind- you're doing this to learn something about yourself!) so that you don't repeat the same mistake with a new girlfriend. But also accept that she may just not be willing to talk to you about it, and be mindful of these tendencies in the future.

[Dingloon]

I don't find it controlling because all the girls said I wasn't it's just that she decided to take two part time jobs and nvr SMS me even once during her break? When She's on the bus on the way home sh also doesn't SMS me? Ended work don't SMS?

[bestbessie]

I absolutely see that as controlling, why should she have to SMS you every day, and so often? Why do you need to have her repeatedly prove she's thinking of you?

[Alty]

Here are the facts. She sees you as controlling. Her perception of your relationship is the only thing she needs in order to make a decision. It doesn't matter if you think you aren't controlling. She does!

She's done.

That means that the relationship is over.

The end.

[Dingloon]

All right I get it