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robertkoo · Dec 25, 2010, 03:31 AM

We were married for 10 years, she left and 2 years later wants to get back together. What should I watch out for?

joypulv · Dec 25, 2010, 07:22 AM

I hope if you celebrate Christmas you are not alone and have a good day. I'm waiting for my 92 year old dad to get up, but have bread in the oven and a Christmas CD of Glenn Close singing with Placido Domingo, believe it or not, and yes she has a nice voice.

You need to look into your own heart on this one. A key question isn't so much what she did as how bitter you are and able to forgive, without being a fool twice. Not easy for anyone. That's about all I can say.

Jake2008 · Dec 25, 2010, 07:35 AM

After two years, I'm sure you've had time to figure out what went wrong, and that you have some peace in your life after recovering from such a long relationship.

I would advise extreme caution. What motivates her now, as opposed to when the breakup was about to happen, to make a relationship with you work. Is it more that she's had a string of broken relationships, or she's unhappy with her life, or she's broke? Maybe substance abuse?

If she is looking for comfort, or somebody to rescue her, or her motives are either unknown or questionable, I wouldn't take her seriously.

Protect yourself.

robertkoo · Dec 25, 2010, 12:53 PM

Thanks for your reply. We have 2 kids 9 and 10 and she is broke. Supporting 2 houses is stretching me thin as well, so I would like to see if we could make it work, and without breaking the bank on counselors/therapists. Happy holidays!

robertkoo · Dec 25, 2010, 12:56 PM

Look into my heart, good advice. I can/have forgiven... mostly. Lol. Thanks and I didn't know Glenn Close could sing (:

Fr_Chuck · Dec 25, 2010, 12:57 PM

First you should not be "supporting" two houses, just paying court ordered child support.

Next don't even try it without marriage counseling, in most cases you can find this at a local religious group of your choice, It does not have to be your denomination and many do it on a income basic, so you pay according to income

You and your partner need to come to grip with the reason for the divorce to start with, and find what other problems caused it.

Also you need to find out what changes has happened in both of you.

Next she does not move right back in, you date for 6 months to a year and get to know each other again and make sure some of the same issues are not there

robertkoo · Dec 25, 2010, 04:09 PM

We are not divorced, just separated, and there is spousal support as well, I give extra so they don't get evicted. She can't work(so it would seem) she has a disability. Will try the church counseling, thanks